quotable 2009

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "as an individual undertakes to live by borrowing, soon finds his original means devoured by interest and, next, no one left to borrow from; so must it be with government." -- abraham lincoln

• "we can aspire to anything, but we don't get it just because we want it. i would rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing i had wings." -- patient, on episode of house

• "a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -- donna roberts

• "to many people, free will is a license to rebel not against what is unjust or hard in life but against what is best for them and true." -- dean koontz, in the darkest evening of the year

• "going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." -- unknown

• "some people are like slinkies. they don't really have a purpose but it still brings a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs." -- unknown

moving up the ranks

i told my manager mark that he was now my #4 favourite, according to google. one month ago, he was #6.

he is now determined to become #3.

he'll have to beat out my mother for that spot.

pretty sure i'd have to seriously evaluate my life if that happened. maybe quit my job.

assault on the streets of l.a.

i had a meeting in l.a. about fas 157, fair value measurements (or whatever the new codification number is -- why do they have to renumber stuff??). my manager mark was the instructor, so i was particularly concerned with arriving on time.

training started at 8. i got there at 755. perfect.

after 2 hours of stimulating discussion about all things fair value, mark and i drove back up to the client's office. we drove separately.

the first half of my drive deserves no commentary herein. shortly after i passed white oak on the 101, though, things got interesting.

i had been driving in the next-to-fastest lane, singing along to the radio and enjoying a mid-morning drive. i came up behind a blue suv and because i don't like to be behind anyone, i flipped my left blinker and changed lanes. as i got settled into the fast lane, i saw a car in my rear-view mirror that looked like he had wanted to be right where i was, but he changed his mind and merged the other direction.

i watched as this white car with beige hood and faded black bumper went around a couple cars, crossed in front of the blue suv, and merged into the fast lane right in front of me ... aaaand ... slammed on his brakes.

so i slammed on my brakes.

then he sped up again. dummy.

so, i accelerated again. he was still in front of me. he slammed on his brakes again.

really?

i gave him the universal shoulder-shrug, palms upturned and a mouthed "what?", to which he responded with several arm motions out his window that looked like he was telling a story about a snake and a bunny to 4-year-old. except for that last part -- that last hand gesture was not intended for a 4-year-old.

[eye roll.]

so i signaled to merge to my right. if he wants to be in front, let him. but ... he changed lanes right along with me, slamming the brakes again. so i changed lanes back. again, he was right there with me.

i fell behind a little, trying to get some space between me and the psycho. then i hit my right blinker and gunned it. he mimicked, cutting me off again. and again. at this point i was in the almost far-right lane, and he was in the lane to my left, a little ahead of me. so i let off the gas entirely, slowing to about 40 mph and got behind a big rig. he kept a close distance, to my left and one car length ahead of me.

we drove like that for a few minutes. i tried slowing even more, thinking he might get bored and leave me alone. no luck.

his driver-side window was rolled down and he started waving his phone out the window.

what?? what does that mean?

is he trying to get my number??

this is the *worst* pickup line e-v-e-r.

once again, he waved his phone out the window. i tried to look like i wasn't paying attention.

he slowed down to get right beside me. i didn't look over. in my periphery, i could see that he was trying to get my attention. i didn't give it to him.

he slowed down more and got behind me. he was on his phone now (illegal in california as of 1/1/2009).

we came up next to another big rig, i saw my chance. as soon as i was able, i quickly changed lanes in front of the 52-footer. unfortunately, mr. ugly car also snuck past him.

very annoyed at this point, i couldn't even enjoy the music coming from my radio. my exit was coming up. certainly this dude wouldn't follow me off the freeway, right?

right?

wrong. we reached the bottom of the off-ramp; i turned right. he turned right. he pulled up next to me on the shoulder of the road. he was talking at me and still on his phone. figuring he wouldn't leave me alone until he got whatever it was off his chest, i rolled down my window.

"hello? hi. i just wanted to let you know that i called the police and gave them your license plate number. you were speeding and driving recklessly," he announced. he seemed a little too pleased with himself.

i replied with a simple, "umm, thank you." what else was i supposed to say?

his retort? "you're welcome." and, as i rolled up my window, "you're welcome for a ruined day!!" an inkling of exasperation in his voice.

oh, my heavens. the light turned green, so i hit the gas. he cut off a few people to get right behind me again, still on the phone.

we approached the road to my client's office. i turned right. he followed. there was no way i was going to show him where my car would be all day. so i passed the entrance to my client's parking garage, and pulled up to a red light. great. he pulled up beside me again, yelling again.

"i called the police and you are going to get a ticket for reckless driving and for speeding. you cut me off and then you were driving recklessly!"

because i don't take accusations as well as i could, i replied, "i didn't see you. you were blocking me in the lane and i was trying to get away from you --"

"you didn't see me because you are a woman!! and women never see men, they just run all over them!" he cut me off.

oh. my. goodness.

*what* is this about??

the light turned green, so i put the car in first and pulled forward, he paralleled me. while leaning out the window, one hand on his phone, one on the steering wheel and neither eye on the road, he yelled at me about my reckless driving.

looking for somewhere to shake this guy, i saw another parking garage coming up on the left. with him on my right, i waited almost too long before making a sharp left into the parking garage entrance: no way this guy would pay for parking just to continue harassing me.

when i got to the gate, i quickly pulled a ticket from the machine and the mechanical arm raised. i turned to my right as i put the parking ticket in my purse, put the car in first and looked ahead to pull forward. suddenly mr. ugly car was standing right next to me, leaning into the car, his arm blocking my window from rolling up.

"i just want you to say you were wrong and that you're sorry. say that you're sorry!"

i could have peed my pants right then.

i didn't.

"admit you were wrong! just admit it," he insisted.

... uhhh ... "if you think i did something wrong, then okay, i'll admit it." pretty sure i was shaking. still didn't pee my pants.

he straightened up, held out his hand for a handshake and said, "thank you." he walked back to his car.

too shaken to think clearly, i slowly eased into the parking garage. the mechanical arm of the gate lowered behind me. i didn't even see the guy pull away.

i sat in the parking garage for a few minutes, then proceeded to the exit and drove over to my client's office.

as i entered my client's office, my manager mark lifted his head and commented, "boy, you drive slowly."

uhhh ...

find a penny

if it's in the bathroom at a t.g.i. fridays, though, is it good luck or bad luck?

(p.s. -- i washed it. don't worry.)

not proud

i'm sorry, but i cannot deny that i like this song:

when it comes on the radio, i actually turn the volume up. obviously, this is serious.

can we still be friends?

martha

this is what i made yesterday:

these are why:

never underestimate the demands of a great shoe.

google favourites

so, my google phone flags my contacts as favourites based on frequency and length of phone calls. i'm sure there's some fancy algorithm behind the calculations here so, i mean, this must be scientifically accurate information.

here are my top ten "favourites," according to google:

1. cute guy

2. my sister

3. my mom

4. my manager john
   

5. college boy

6. my manager mark
   

eerch!

hold on. what? what did that say? really?

yes, friends, you read that right: two of my managers in my list of favourites.

in the top ten, no less!

my managers are my favourites?! does that mean work is my favourite?!?

i can't go on with the list. this is just too sad.

...

...

i think i am going to go eat some ice cream ...

it's a sad, sad life i lead ...

the gravy

my boy jerry takes care of me. when i visited the woodworths this summer, mike made fun of me for how in love i am with my jerry jetta. but i cannot deny it: he is amazing. pretty, fuel efficient, powerful, acclaimed, sporty ... without belaboring all the features that i have already mentioned, i must tell you about some that i have grown to love over the past 3 months:

• sunroof. pretty sure i have already mentioned it, but i had to say that i *love*, love, love my sunroof. there is never a time when i drive without it open. man, that was a great choice, christianna. really. good job.

• courtesy blinkers. they blink, blink, blink and then turn off when you change lanes. talk about awesome. i will no longer ever be one of "those" people, driving down the highway unaware that my blinkers are confusing drivers on all sides.

• heated seats. now, i admit that living in sunny socal really limits the need for heated seats ... but ... i have horrible back trouble most of the days, and these heated seats provide the right amount of relaxing warmth for my whining muscles. ahhh. not the manufacturer's intended purpose, i know, but perhaps all the more valuable for it.

okay, ryan, i'll stop rubbing it in now. hope you get yours soon.

lasting impressions

chatting with a co-worker tonight, griping about the same old office complaints ...

... i got an unexpected glimpse of the impression i leave on some people:

"i'm starving and talking to you made me think of jerry's."

[nose wriggle]. funny.

...

what do i make *you* think of??

pump gas much?

so ... it's been a while, okay?

i stopped at the shell last night to refuel.

as i sat for about 5 minutes, waiting for the outside "stalls" to free up (since they are the only pumps with diesel) i realized that my tank was on the other side of the car and promptly pulled into the empty diesel stall in front of me.

i put him in park and climbed out. i swiped my card and waited. and waited. oh, i have to put in my zip code. hmm ... where's the key pad? oh. found it.

i grabbed the nozzle and put it into the tank. when i squeezed the handle, nothing happened. huh? oh, i have to push the fuel type button.

i squeezed the handle again and the diesel started flowing.

finally.

i didn't remember that refueling was such an ordeal ...

thanks, jerry, for being so fuel-efficient.

workaholic

i left my client's office at 9 last night only because i had to pee and i have no key card to get back into their office. i went home and worked until 4am.

c'mon, who's jealous?

my greasy lover, bacon

i wonder if you really could travel back in time ...

good boy, jerry

welp, after entirely too much concentration wasted on work endeavors, i had to check yahoo one last time before hitting the sack tonight. on the main page, yahoo! finance was featuring an article called "The 5 Best Low-Cost, High-Mileage Cars", which conclusively and with authoritative finality answers the question, "what car would you buy that is well made, gets good gas mileage, and doesn't cost much?".

of course i had to check out the lineup. and guess who's number one, friends!

i couldn't agree more: jerry, you're awesome.

(in case you wanted to ask: no, i don't know who else made the list. i got carried away in celebration for my boy and stopped reading at #1.)

been around

when i was talking to my mom the other night, she said she had a great idea to set me up with a guy she works with.

only problem is ...

... i already went out with him.

like 5 years ago.

man, i've been around too long ...

a mutual error

i was in chicago for work, participating in a team-building activity called "planks" at the time the 2-hour house season premier aired. the activity was kind of an interesting puzzle thing, and i like puzzles, but my team didn't win or get any prizes. *and* i missed house.

i was so annoyed.

so i got home from my trip around midnight on monday this week and turned on the tv to catch up on my house-watching, only to find that direct tv had recorded the episodes but wouldn't replay them! can you believe it? what's the point of recording the show if it can't be replayed? the dvr just sat there "searching for authorized content" for 5 minutes, then asked me if i want to delete the show.

uhh ... no! i don't want to delete the show! i want to *watch* the show! seriously, people.

i answered "no", and tried again. but same thing. and again.

i was even more annoyed than plank night.

but -- what can you do?

[grumble]

so tonight, i watched house online. my first time online. kinda cool set-up: fox.com posts the full episode 8 days after initial air. means i have to wait a week -- but it's not like i have oodles of time to just sit around watching house all day anyway.

the only really annoying thing, i suppose, is that each full episode is sponsored by a single advertiser -- which means that each regularly scheduled commercial break consists of only one commercial -- but it's the *same* commercial every 15 minutes. and you can't skip or fast forward or anything.

in tonight's case, the advertiser was northwestern mutual. life insurance. blah-blah.

on the third time through this riveting juxtaposition between baseball and blah-blah, i noticed something interesting in the commercial: the company can't even spell their own legal name right.

ha ha.

well, in all fairness, their tagline is, "put our strength to work for you." they said nothing about putting their spelling skills to work for you.

okay.

what i did this summer

in case you haven't noticed, i haven't been blogging much. not for lack of things to write about, but for time to write about them. not only has work swallowed me alive, but i have been insistent that i wouldn't allow work to consume all my waking hours.

lately i have taken advantage of the opportunity to use some of my pto before work gets even worse and i am completely unable to take the time off. and i have been busy!

so, in honor of school starting up again, i thought i'd do a quick, "what i did this summer" post for all.

• jun 6 - 7 visit woodworths in tahoe, ca
• jul 2 - 9 visit all kinds of family in ogden, ut, and eagle, id
• jul 30 - aug 5 visit inge & jared in houston, tx
• aug 8 - 9 california all-state ysa conference in santa monica, ca
• aug 14 - 15 becky's wedding in las vegas, nv
• aug 21 - 24 visit woodworths in san jose, ca
• sep 3 - 8 bumbershoot in seattle, wa
• sep 11 - 13 help mom & dad pack in ogden, ut
• sep 20 - 23 annual training for work in chicago, il
• sep 23 - 28 visit eden & clint, et al, in boston, ma

i'll elaborate on the details in the coming weeks -- when i find time to post some pictures. because a picture-less post is hardly worth the read, let alone the write.

chegou!

finalmente.

:)

recognition

got the following email from a client today, at the end of our 2008 audit:

"Had a good time, too. Next week I'm visiting my proctologist and I'm sure that will bring back fond memories of the 2008 GT audit. LOL"

thanks, dude. it's nice to get a little recognition for a job well-done.

computer expert

every morning, when pat asks me a computer question, this is actually *precisely* what i do.

lookie!

okay, ryan -- hope this is enough to tide you over until i find another 37 seconds to post more.

enjoy.

i am.

p.s.

oh, yeah. this is what else came in the mail ...

well, i mean, *i* didn't come in the mail.

just the ticket did ...

but, you got that.

right?

snail mail

i haven't opened mail in over a month. i haven't had time, people! lately i get home from work, grab my mail off the table, walk it to my room, and *lovingly* place it in the "mail pile" on the floor in front of my dresser before crashing on my bed.

(incidentally, the mail pile sits right in front of the clean-and-folded-but-not-put-away-because-i-still-haven't-had-time-to-unpack-from-my-utah-idaho-texas-and-vegas-trips clothes pile. i am considering implementing a new no-flying-until-you-unpack-from-your-last-trip rule. but then i might never get out of this place.)

so today after church and church, i came home on a mission. my mission: to open and deal with everything in the mail pile. the clean-and-folded-but-... clothes pile would have to wait for another day.

but it was definitely time to get through that mail pile. i mean, for all i knew, my long-lost lover had written me the most beautiful, poetic, sugary, sticky love letter pen ever put to paper ... so ... obviously ... i couldn't keep him waiting any longer.

it took me about an hour, but i made it through the whole stack. the mail pile brought adventures and intrigue. behold:

• 3 surveys. people want my opinion! they do!

monitoring the future survey, from the university of michigan. (been filling that one out annually since high school.)

equal employment opportunity survey, from cal state northridge. (to be a part-time instructor.)

customer service survey, from my bank. (i bank online; why can't the surveys be online, too. i'd probably get to them faster that way.)

• an apheresis award from the red cross. so i logged in to my account where i found out that i have donated 35 times since moving to los angeles -- 35 times! just imagine how many lives i have saved!! :P

  and while i was on that roll, i went ahead and called to set up a new appointment for next week.

• 1 check that i have been awaiting for about a month. hmmm. maybe i shoulda gone through this stack a while ago ...

• 3 letters from my car dealership, congratulating me on my purchase. i feel pretty special to have received 3 letters. no, none of the letters included a get-out-of-jail-free card on the car payment. drat.

• an official letter from the state board letting me know that i passed my tests! guess they didn't hear my joy. that's okay -- let's celebrate again!

and ... umm, that was it. with all that and a (large) handful of statements and credit card offers, i had dug it down to the carpet.

and there was nothing else.

no love.

no poetry.

no sugary, sticky.

what's up with that?

who even invented snail mail?

voicemail

i got a message today:

"so i'm standing here, washing dishes, minding my own business ...

and flynn says,

'mom, if you would be christianna, you would have crazy hair.'

so ... apparently, good thing i'm not you."

thanks, bud.

it's here!

now i just gotta figure out how to drive two cars home ... suggestions?

(more to come)

(and pictures)

sitting, waiting, wishing ...

i have wanted one of these for a while ...

• 0 to 60 in 8.2 seconds

• 2.0 L

• 140 hp

• 236 lbs-ft torque

• in-line 4 cylinder turbocharged clean diesel engine with common rail direct injection (tdi)

my little sister texted me one day back in april, asking if i would sell reggie to her. in the midst of recovering from busy season, her text only served to stress me out ... but, the more i thought about it, i realized that this provided the perfect excuse to do some shopping!

• tdi

• manual transmission

• blue graphite exterior

• anthracite interior (who names these colors?)

• sunroof (if i can negotiate a good price)

http://www.vw.com/ is so much fun! try on different colors ... check out the rear spoiler ... add an ipod hookup ... (create a child) ...

okay. so my sister lives in utah. as such, one detail of the sale would need to address reggie's transport across 4 states. the most obvious solution was for me to drive him up there ... and since i'd be up there and car-less ... the most obvious solution to that situation would be for me to buy a new car there and drive him home. sounds pretty perfect, right?

what's even more perfect was the timing: my other little sister and family were going to be visiting in utah at the beginning of july. *aaand* some good college friends were putting together a rocking reunion over the 4^th of july weekend.

i was soon in the makings of a pretty perfect plan!

so i went about seeing what was possible. found a utah dealer. check.

now, to find a car ... well, the color i wanted, proved to cause much headache. apparently there were no blue graphite in the state of utah. so ... the utah dealer had to transport the car in from portland or vegas or somewhere. whatever, i don't really care!

we'd leave socal after work on thursday, july 2. drive up to utah. spend the weekend with friends and family. drive back to socal with my new car!

ba-da-boom. ba-da-bing!

so ... last thursday matti flew in from utah to drive up with me. she called me as soon as she landed -- super excited to be a soon-to-be-car-owner. and i was super excited for her. and for me!

about a half hour later, i got a call from the utah dealer:

"hi, christianna. the car just got in," he stated flatly. shouldn't he be excited? i was.

"great!" probably shoulda tried to hide a *little* bit of that enthusiasm.

"well, kinda ... it's an automatic."

-- wha- what?? --

"you're kidding." please be kidding ...

"um, no."

-- pause --

-- didn't include this in my calculations --

-- pause --

he continued, "so ... if you'd like to take the blue graphite automatic, it's here and ready for you. or i've got a manual in silver and red. or, i can see if i can get a manual in the blue graphite from the east coast; the shipping would just be more."

"but ... umm ... -- can i call you back in a few minutes?" too much to think about. too much.

"sure. just let me know what you want me to do."

i hung up and immediately called my mom. no answer. called again. no answer again. grr! where could she be at a time like this!!?

okay, deep breath. what to do?

i then dialed up 3 other car dealers i had spoken to previously. none of them answered. none. -- what kind of no-work-thursday vortex had i woken up in??! -- i dialed 3 car dealers. i left 3 messages.

then i called eden. she always knows what to do.

she listened to me whine. she offered advice.

the other 3 dealers started calling me back. so began the stressful day ... ...

by noon i still had no answers. i called the utah dealer back and asked him how long it would take to get the car from the east coast. he checked and it would take 7 business days. which would put the car in utah a full week *after* i was supposed to have left.

around 230 i spoke to a dealer here in california. he found 2 -- one was marked "sold", the other wouldn't be available for 3 weeks. oh, man. well, i told him to see what he could find out. at least it was something.

he finally called me back at 530. (half an hour after i was supposed to have been on the road out of town.) the one marked "sold" was actually sold. so the other one ... could be here in 3 weeks ...

so ...

3 weeks it is!

now, we wait.

(it's already been 1 week ... so ... 2 weeks left!)

but i know i have good things to look forward to. and i'm getting a better deal on this one than the utah dealer was giving me. for the exact same out-the-door price, i am getting upgraded mats and trunk liner ... and a *sunroof*. i *love* sunroofs! (err, uhh ... sunrooves?? whatever.)

7 ate 9

i am in utah on vacation. heading home in the morning. i'll post stuff and pictures then ...

enjoy the anticipation.

off the face of the earth

some of you probably think i fell off the face of the earth. in fact, i have been asked precisely that.

well, i am back now. it was a lovely place, but i am glad to be among the living again. i'll have to tell y'all about it sometime.

but not right now. right now i am packing up so i can watch transformers with my nephew.

tchau!

c'est fini

i've had the phrase "c'est si bon" in my head for days. from the (old) yoplait commercials (they don't use that tag-line anymore, mmeh). so i wanted to write a post and call it that. but ... "c'est si bon" doesn't quite fit. "c'est fini" fits better ... because ...

... i passed all my tests!

c'est fini. it is finished.

i got my last score early on saturday morning and have been floating up in cloud nine eleven fourteen one hundred thirty-six since.

you know what this means? i mean, really. do you know what this means?

1. i get reimbursed for test fees (though, the firm only reimburses one round of tests -- about $1,000)

2. i am eligible to be promoted to manager (in a couple years)

3. my employer will stop asking me for a progress update

4. i get to be a cpa

but ...

most importantly ...

5. i don't have to take any more tests!

c'est fini. and ... *it* *is* *so* *good*!

:)

---

here's the final report, for posterity's sake (need a 75 on each section to pass):

work-related injury

so, i'm working, right?

computer out.

spreadsheet open.

outlook open.

sitting on my porch at the mission inn hotel in pismo beach.

for an hour or two.

working.

on the porch.

working.

think i can get worker's comp?

oh -- in case you want a better shot ... here you go ...

okay. stop laughing now.

(and yeah, this post is more than a 6 weeks delayed. don't worry: i still have the tan lines. as someone described it the other day, "it looks like you are wearing granny knee highs that are falling down a little.")

mmmm

the one redeeming quality of an overly-air-conditioned office with an adequately-supplied break room is that i get to curl up with a warm cup of soup in the middle of a 90-degree day. mmmm.

stars, diamonds, and shower curtains

how do you rate a hotel?

the star classification system is a common one for rating hotels. higher star ratings indicate more luxury. the aaa and their affiliated bodies use diamonds instead of stars to express hotel and restaurant ratings levels.

but what criteria do they use to rate hotels? room size? friendliness of the concierge? size of the flat screen? luxury of the sheets?

me? i use shower curtains.

more specifically, shower curtain rods.

a good hotel has a round shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

the rounder the better.

i mean, look at this:

i'm definitely gonna have round shower curtain rods in my bathrooms when i grow up. and all my house guests will herald the luxury, opulence, splendor, and bliss that it is to visit me.

they will.

paranoia

sometimes i have this recurring, somewhat totally unfounded panic: that my car is being stolen at that very moment.

now, i have never had a car get stolen. i always make sure to lock the doors and set the car alarm, which not only makes an incredibly annoying sound (especially when i accidentally set it off in the middle of the night -- an all too frequent occurrence), but it disables the ignition if not deactivated properly. i live in a pretty safe neighborhood (despite the drug dealers we got arrested middle of last year because they set up shop out in front of the house -- ssshh, don't tell my mom).

but really, this stolen car panic hits me out of the blue too frequently.

and usually, i run through a pretty consistent train of thought:

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

"anything valuable in there?"

"the glove box?"

"sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat??"

that's the point when i realize how ridiculously paranoid i am being. and i try to force myself to forget about it and not rush out to check.

of course, i am always quite happily relieved to walk out (run?) to the car when it's time to leave and see little reggie sitting and waiting for me. he's such a good boy.

today was one such panic.

i arrived at stake conference about 17 minutes late, found a great parking space, and hurried in, all the while attempting to text guilt trip one of my friends into coming to stake conference, to no avail. oh, well.

i found a seat next to a cute couple in my ward and settled in to listen to the talks when the panic started.

so ... here we go ...

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

and that's when i remembered that i already catalogued the trunk. [*sigh* *of* *relief*!]

now, if anyone actually does steal my car, i already know what to claim on my insurance!

wait -- does insurance cover trunk contents? hmm.

well ... if not, i guess i have a shopping list for replacing all that stuff myself!

my eyes, my eyes!

there are two things i put on my face with a cotton ball:

eye makeup remover	and	toner

i mixed those up this morning.

ouch.

always prepared

wondering what to put in your trunk? well, as i disassemble mine in this pictorial essay, take note. have you forgotten any of this?

fuzzy jacket, pillow, and blanket -- it's a cold, cold world.

72-hour kit, toilet paper in a zip-loc, an empty grocery sack, and *2* first aid kits -- you never know what could happen on the 405.

tire pressure gauge and tire inflator -- first you check your tire pressure, then you inflate the tire. in that order.

a beach ball, a frisbee, a towel, a tank top and shorts, sunblock, and *2* bathing suits -- it's spelled c-a-l-i-f-o-r-n-i-a.

3 types of pass-along cards, copies of the Book of Mormon (spanish and english), mormon pamphlets, and a Temple bag -- you might be inspired to do something with those.

printer, hole punch, and luggage roller -- for the auditor extraordinaire.

and holes -- where there is a hole puncher ...

how'd you do?

i am sure that if the boy scouts were to have a patch for the always prepared trunk, i would win it for sure. (you win patches, right?)

stay tuned, friends, if you're lucky we may soon venture on to the treasure trove known as the glove box.

all good things ...

not only was yesterday april fools day, but additionally and perhaps more importantly, yesterday marks the official end of busy season. yea! i made it through another one!

and for the record, this busy season was definitely the most stressful i have had. yet. ... maybe i shouldn't say that.

some of this year's busy season highlights:

• january: make-up client in glendale. this client was not ready for us when we came as scheduled in december, so we had to push the work forward by about 3 weeks, which of course meant that we were butting right up against the start date for other clients. of course, make-up client didn't care about that and expected us to push the schedule in order to accomodate their needs. at the same time, make-up client to this date has not clearly defined the scope of our work. i am sure i will be back out there sometime this summer. yea.

• february: toy manufacturer in costa mesa. this was my first out-of-town client in my public accounting career, which was fun. of course, the fact that i was staying at a hotel down the street from my client meant that there was an expectation of working early to late. but not a bad set-up otherwise. unless you want to count the fact that both of the staff i was given for this engagement had just been hired in september and this was their first busy-season client. oh, and we had a brand new manager on the job, too. so yeah. and what added to the "appeal" of this job was that it was actually work performed on an international subsidiary of a client of our hong kong office, which meant that we were answering to hong kong. kinda made communication difficult with the 15-hour time difference. but we did it.

• march: make-up client in glendale for a week with still no answer to many of the open issues. but because of funding issues on their end, we pulled out of the field to await a resolution.

  mexican food distributor in cypress for a week. cypress is not near my house, but not far enough to warrant a hotel stay, so take the minimum 11-hour days and tack on 2 hours of traffic in the morning and 2 more at night. the engagement team on this one, though, was fun and made the difference.

  the mexican food week was also the week that i threw out my back somehow. i don't know what happened but i woke up with a bit of a sore back on friday of the week before, which i tried to manage with what was available in the medicine cabinet at the office. the next couple days i tried to just cowboy-up and deal with the pain by walking slowly, sitting straight, and throwing back an ibuprofen or two throughout the day. however, tuesday i was in agony. laying down hurt. standing up hurt. driving hurt (yes, i mean actual pain from moving my right foot from the gas pedal to the brake, which happens frequently when driving through l.a., as you can imagine). walking hurt. sitting hurt. pulling myself up from my chair using my arms hurt but was the only way to do it. i got home that night and managed to sleep somehow, though not well. wednesday morning i called my physical therapist friend and begged for some advice. he offered to see me at his office, but that would mean an early early thursday morning. i was okay with that. so thursday he stretched me and pulled me and beat me up pretty bad. but, oh my goodness, it was fabulous. he gave me some exercises to do (which i have been doing) and i was much better.

  for added kicks, i decided that that thursday would be a good day to get sick. so i did that. and i have been arguing with my cold and personally financing the manufacturers of advil cold & sinus since then. i finally got some antibiotics last saturday. i am starting to feel better now.

  slime manufacturer in grover beach. my second out-of-town job. i'm getting the hang of this by now and i've pretty much got my packing strategy and weekly laundry routine figured out. this job is pretty good. though the client is brand new to me, i am working with some people i know and can trust, which is great. one perk is that we get to wear jeans every single day. i *love* it. plus we are a stone's throw from the beach. and one of these days i am going to go to the beach. especially now that busy season is officially over and we can work less than 55 hours a week without repercussion. yea!

wow. march has been eventful. thank goodness it's over. thank goodness busy season is over!

what's under your bed?

cleaned out under my bed the other day.

so ... would you say that i *am* or *am not* the type of person who is used to packing up and moving at a moment's notice?

resolved for the better

last week, i went to the hotel gym for an hour each on monday, tuesday, *and* wednesday. then i went running in my neighborhood on saturday morning.

the week before, i went to the hotel gym for about 45 minutes each on tuesday and wednesday, then went running in my neighborhood on saturday morning.

i had oatmeal 2 or 3 times a week the past couple weeks. plus now i am doing the vegetarian day thing.

i think i am doing much better with my new year's resolutions than previously anticipated. and it feels good to be doing something good for me.

upward and onward, friends. upward and onward.

look how they grow!

i mostly took this picture so my mom could see how long my fingernails are. but i figured that all of you would want to see, too. i mean, why wouldn't you?

see, mom? i can let them grow ...

this is what happens when i am working out of town so i can't have weekly harp lessons (which require short nails). plus, i guess i haven't been stressed enough to chomp them off. though ... looking back at how this busy season went ... not sure how i can claim to not have been stressed ...

i didn't really even recognize how long they were getting until my sister commented on them last weekend. yeah.

okay. now i am going to go cut them.

they clack on my keyboard keys.

that gets annoying after a while.

vegetariano por un día

my sister called me on tuesday with the latest and greatest fad diet for me to try for my cholesterol woes:

vegetarian for one day a week

so here's how the gig goes:

• choose one day a week to eat no meat.

okay, maybe i didn't really need to explain that, but ... i did ... live with it.

anyway, so i thought i could give it a try in order to add some structure to my resolution número uno.

being that it was tuesday afternoon that my sister called and told me, the week was about half over before i even knew about my resolution. but because i wanted to get a jump-start on this, i planned for a wednesday vegetarian day. but then the client had brought in yummy mexican food with chicken and steak burritos for lunch. so wednesday was out.

thursday was the next option. and i did really well through all of breakfast and most of the morning. then my co-worker suggested that we sushi it that night and run the charge through. well, can't go to sushi and eat vegetarian. it would be a waste. so ... thursday was out.

and today is friday. gotta do it today. because a vegetarian weekend certainly spells n-o f-u-n. it really does. i looked it up. anyway, i was delighted when my co-worker suggested that we work through lunch and take off early. that meant that i could spend the day un-tempted by restaurant menus and un-influenced by what others are eating. plus, i am way better at maintaining some food self control when i am not eating with others. (don't know why. hmmm. that might be fodder for another self-analysis blog post.)

so today my diet consisted of oatmeal, eggs, hash browns, and o.j. for breakfast. then yogurt with granola, edamame, and (of course) chocolate through the noon hour and the afternoon. i got home from san luis obispo around 9 and i had a grilled cheese sandwich. (on wheat! woot!)

look at that! i did it! a vegetarian for one day!

here's to a great start. check back for updates. y'know, if this is the sort of thing that interests you. yeah.

quotable 2008

okay, following the precedent started last year ... only a little delayed this year ...

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -- confucius

• "never let your failures go to your heart, or your successes go to your head." -- anon.

• "a wise man learns by the mistakes of others; a fool by his own." -- latin proverb

• "to keep your marriage brimming with love from the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it. whenever you're right, shut up." -- ogden nash

• "being in a relationship is like eating ice cream with chop sticks: you're not sure why you're doing it, but you wish everyone would just leave you alone about it." -- unknown

• "life is best enjoyed when time periods are evenly divided between labour, sleep, and recreation... all people should spend one-third of their time in recreation which is rebuilding, voluntary activity -- never idleness." --pres. brigham young

• "whenever i'm about to do something, i think, 'would an idiot do that?' and if they would, then i do not do that thing." -- dwight schrute

• "a government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have." -- thomas jefferson

• "it's better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air, than in the air wishing you were on the ground." -- interesting nasa guy on the airplane, (explaining the benefits of flight delays)

resolutions, v. 2009

so it's the middle of march. shoot me.

i can still make resolutions.

yeah, huh!

okay, so this year, i would first like to announce my great success related to my prior year resolutions. whereas my cholesterol did not go down as much as i had hoped ... i successfully complied with my resolution for one year.

i deserve a pat on the back.

*pat*, *pat*, *pat*

okay, and now on to the main event:

this year's resolutions!

1. red meat and cholesterol - i think i started a theme last year. so we'll see about continuing in that great cause. however, i will not limit my red meat intake to weekends only anymore. because ... well ... just because. so ... this year, i am eating red meat whenever i choose, though not as much as i did in the pre-2008 years. if my resolution last year had any impact on me at all (besides 4 points lower cholesterol, thank you), it has broken my addiction to red meat. don't get me wrong: i still love the stuff. but it is no longer the only thing i eat.

   i am trying to work oatmeal into my diet as a combatant to high cholesterol. i freely admit that this resolution this year is not as well-thought-out and thoroughly defined as last year's. but ... it's busy season. i hardly have time to think about anything. but here's the general idea: eat oatmeal. yeah.

   (if anyone has suggestions for helping me get this goal into action, let me know. keep in mind that i don't have time for breakfast, so oatmeal will be an evening meal. hmm: oatmeal ... evening meal. interesting.)

2. exercise - there was a month a while ago that i went jogging / running 3 times a week. really. i calendared it -- yeah -- i can show you. so ... i think i'm going to do that again. jogging / running 3 times a week. it was easier when i had a buddy, but yeah. no more excuses.

   until busy season is over, i can't promise anything more than maybe 15 minutes at a time, but that's something at least. when summer gets here, we'll talk about maybe stepping that up a notch.

3. spiritual - my stake relief society released a new program called the personal righteousness program in which we make goals around 7 different values and the complete a 15-hour project. it's kind of like the personal progress program in young women.

   as of this moment, i have read through the suggested goals for exactly 1 of those values. i'll remedy that. and then i will do those goals. (if anyone wants more detailed information about the program, let me know. i have a pdf of the whole thing i can send you.)

okay, i think that is all the burden i can pile on my own shoulders right now. i am getting a bit overwhelmed just re-reading all that. [deep breath] just gotta remember that i have the rest of the year to work on these things. yeah.

anyway. there you go. someone once said that a goal not written down is just a wish. so these are my goals: they are written down.

d-i-y car repair?

reggie sounds like an orca whale ... again.

i think it was november that i took him in for a check-up and my mechanic fixed him up real pretty, even changed the power steering fluid tubing because it had a leak.

about a month later, he started squealing at me on cold mornings whenever i turned the wheel. so, after text-consulting a car guru friend, i took him back to the shop. my mechanic tightened the belts and added a super-powered-additive-juice-something to the power steering fluid. pronto! reggie stopped complaining.

until a couple weeks ago. the orca whale is back.

(oh -- i don't actually know what an orca whale sounds like, as opposed to a regular whale, but i presume it says something like "ooorr-caaaaa", which is what reggie says, too, so ... there you go.)

i texted my car guru friend again. he says it might be expensive to fix. so i was thinking of trying to fix it myself. because, y'know, i *am* a fan of do-it-yourselfing it in general -- i mean, if you *can* do it, why not? besides, i figure learning how to fix cars is a good thing.

which is, i am sure, what the owner of this vehicle thought:

see the funniez? yeah, i captured that perfect shot that on the way home a few months ago. heh.

a sign

last night i did not sleep well.

last night i woke up 17 times. okay, maybe not *17*, per se, but many times. and i like the number 17. so there you go.

after an ridiculously exquisitely deep-fried monte cristo at jerry's famous deli in costa mesa, ca, i returned to my hotel room and turned on the tube. on the night before the last day of fieldwork, it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. that was at 10 o'clock.

i fell asleep somewhere around 10:30, if i made it that far.

then for some reason, i was looking at the clock again at 11:43. weird. if you know one thing about me, you know that i sleep well. i am a good sleeper: i fall asleep quickly; i stay asleep. it's kinda my thing. (not exactly a "thing" i can put on my resume ... but my thing nonetheless.)

so waking up only an hour after zonking out was kinda weird.

mmeh, didn't think too much about it ... because i was back to sleep before the clock turned to 11:44.

but, boy, was i restless. i actually remember being asleep and thinking "i'm restless. this is weird." my eyes fluttered open several times over the next couple hours, but i insisted on being asleep.

trying to get past the restlessness, i thought it best to start dreaming. let's see ... what to dream about ... ? summer? maybe. boys? maybe. chocolate. hmmm. that could work ... i sweetly drifted off to a luscious land of flowing chocolate rivers and strawberrys 'a plenty.

at 2:14 i came screeching into consciousness. with a heavy breath and a racing heart, my mind was swimming with spreadsheets; the remnant glare of a computer screen lingered in my semi-conscious mind.

was i ... no ... ... wa- was i ... dreaming about ... work??

no ... couldn't be.

... could it?

as i thought more about it, i started to piece together some of the storyline. i was at my computer. okay. what was i doing? a spreadsheet. yes, i was looking at a spreadsheet. hmm. okay. i, umm, like spreadsheets. okay, no biggie. but what's going on? i looked more closely at the spreadsheet. numbers. some words. hmm. okay. so ... what's the big deal?

i clicked on cell A43, but suddenly my mouse wouldn't respond. excel didn't quite seem to be feeling well. i tried clicking cell E40: nothing. i couldn't click on any cells? umm ... what about the arrows? nope, those buttons didn't work, either. scroll? uh uh. oh no ... switch to something else, let's come back to it: Alt + Tab wasn't working. Ctrl + Alt + Del did nothing! what is going on!? click click, click click!

and *then* ... and *then*! ...

... *then* the spreadsheet started scrolling autonomously. first down about 2,000 rows, then it started scrolling right *and* down. what was it doing? where was it taking me?! i tried to click out of it. i tried Alt + Tab again and *nothing*! arrows? no. Ctrl + Home? okay, that takes me back up to the top left ... the scrolling paused ... maybe it's okay? maybe? ... *nope!* we are headed southeast again! stop! stop stop!! click! arrow! Alt + Tab! stop!! please stop!

and that, friends, is when i opened my eyes to see 2:14 become 2:15.

as my breathing began to slow, i could feel my heart jump back out of my throat. [sigh]. okay. it was just a dream. it was just a dream.

...

i submit that this *could* be a sign that it is *possible* that i am working too much.

google accident

what was shiny and new but a short 2 months ago ...

is no longer ...

... shiny and new, that is ...

(note: artist's rendering, in order to show detail.)

i had a google accident today. my google phone now has a google crack in the google screen. i google dropped it while google crossing the street to go to google lunch yesterday.

*cry*

*google cry*