work-related injury

so, i'm working, right?

computer out.

spreadsheet open.

outlook open.

sitting on my porch at the mission inn hotel in pismo beach.

for an hour or two.

working.

on the porch.

working.

think i can get worker's comp?

oh -- in case you want a better shot ... here you go ...

okay. stop laughing now.

(and yeah, this post is more than a 6 weeks delayed. don't worry: i still have the tan lines. as someone described it the other day, "it looks like you are wearing granny knee highs that are falling down a little.")

mmmm

the one redeeming quality of an overly-air-conditioned office with an adequately-supplied break room is that i get to curl up with a warm cup of soup in the middle of a 90-degree day. mmmm.

stars, diamonds, and shower curtains

how do you rate a hotel?

the star classification system is a common one for rating hotels. higher star ratings indicate more luxury. the aaa and their affiliated bodies use diamonds instead of stars to express hotel and restaurant ratings levels.

but what criteria do they use to rate hotels? room size? friendliness of the concierge? size of the flat screen? luxury of the sheets?

me? i use shower curtains.

more specifically, shower curtain rods.

a good hotel has a round shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

the rounder the better.

i mean, look at this:

i'm definitely gonna have round shower curtain rods in my bathrooms when i grow up. and all my house guests will herald the luxury, opulence, splendor, and bliss that it is to visit me.

they will.

paranoia

sometimes i have this recurring, somewhat totally unfounded panic: that my car is being stolen at that very moment.

now, i have never had a car get stolen. i always make sure to lock the doors and set the car alarm, which not only makes an incredibly annoying sound (especially when i accidentally set it off in the middle of the night -- an all too frequent occurrence), but it disables the ignition if not deactivated properly. i live in a pretty safe neighborhood (despite the drug dealers we got arrested middle of last year because they set up shop out in front of the house -- ssshh, don't tell my mom).

but really, this stolen car panic hits me out of the blue too frequently.

and usually, i run through a pretty consistent train of thought:

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

"anything valuable in there?"

"the glove box?"

"sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat??"

that's the point when i realize how ridiculously paranoid i am being. and i try to force myself to forget about it and not rush out to check.

of course, i am always quite happily relieved to walk out (run?) to the car when it's time to leave and see little reggie sitting and waiting for me. he's such a good boy.

today was one such panic.

i arrived at stake conference about 17 minutes late, found a great parking space, and hurried in, all the while attempting to text guilt trip one of my friends into coming to stake conference, to no avail. oh, well.

i found a seat next to a cute couple in my ward and settled in to listen to the talks when the panic started.

so ... here we go ...

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

and that's when i remembered that i already catalogued the trunk. [*sigh* *of* *relief*!]

now, if anyone actually does steal my car, i already know what to claim on my insurance!

wait -- does insurance cover trunk contents? hmm.

well ... if not, i guess i have a shopping list for replacing all that stuff myself!

my eyes, my eyes!

there are two things i put on my face with a cotton ball:

eye makeup remover	and	toner

i mixed those up this morning.

ouch.

always prepared

wondering what to put in your trunk? well, as i disassemble mine in this pictorial essay, take note. have you forgotten any of this?

fuzzy jacket, pillow, and blanket -- it's a cold, cold world.

72-hour kit, toilet paper in a zip-loc, an empty grocery sack, and *2* first aid kits -- you never know what could happen on the 405.

tire pressure gauge and tire inflator -- first you check your tire pressure, then you inflate the tire. in that order.

a beach ball, a frisbee, a towel, a tank top and shorts, sunblock, and *2* bathing suits -- it's spelled c-a-l-i-f-o-r-n-i-a.

3 types of pass-along cards, copies of the Book of Mormon (spanish and english), mormon pamphlets, and a Temple bag -- you might be inspired to do something with those.

printer, hole punch, and luggage roller -- for the auditor extraordinaire.

and holes -- where there is a hole puncher ...

how'd you do?

i am sure that if the boy scouts were to have a patch for the always prepared trunk, i would win it for sure. (you win patches, right?)

stay tuned, friends, if you're lucky we may soon venture on to the treasure trove known as the glove box.

all good things ...

not only was yesterday april fools day, but additionally and perhaps more importantly, yesterday marks the official end of busy season. yea! i made it through another one!

and for the record, this busy season was definitely the most stressful i have had. yet. ... maybe i shouldn't say that.

some of this year's busy season highlights:

• january: make-up client in glendale. this client was not ready for us when we came as scheduled in december, so we had to push the work forward by about 3 weeks, which of course meant that we were butting right up against the start date for other clients. of course, make-up client didn't care about that and expected us to push the schedule in order to accomodate their needs. at the same time, make-up client to this date has not clearly defined the scope of our work. i am sure i will be back out there sometime this summer. yea.

• february: toy manufacturer in costa mesa. this was my first out-of-town client in my public accounting career, which was fun. of course, the fact that i was staying at a hotel down the street from my client meant that there was an expectation of working early to late. but not a bad set-up otherwise. unless you want to count the fact that both of the staff i was given for this engagement had just been hired in september and this was their first busy-season client. oh, and we had a brand new manager on the job, too. so yeah. and what added to the "appeal" of this job was that it was actually work performed on an international subsidiary of a client of our hong kong office, which meant that we were answering to hong kong. kinda made communication difficult with the 15-hour time difference. but we did it.

• march: make-up client in glendale for a week with still no answer to many of the open issues. but because of funding issues on their end, we pulled out of the field to await a resolution.

  mexican food distributor in cypress for a week. cypress is not near my house, but not far enough to warrant a hotel stay, so take the minimum 11-hour days and tack on 2 hours of traffic in the morning and 2 more at night. the engagement team on this one, though, was fun and made the difference.

  the mexican food week was also the week that i threw out my back somehow. i don't know what happened but i woke up with a bit of a sore back on friday of the week before, which i tried to manage with what was available in the medicine cabinet at the office. the next couple days i tried to just cowboy-up and deal with the pain by walking slowly, sitting straight, and throwing back an ibuprofen or two throughout the day. however, tuesday i was in agony. laying down hurt. standing up hurt. driving hurt (yes, i mean actual pain from moving my right foot from the gas pedal to the brake, which happens frequently when driving through l.a., as you can imagine). walking hurt. sitting hurt. pulling myself up from my chair using my arms hurt but was the only way to do it. i got home that night and managed to sleep somehow, though not well. wednesday morning i called my physical therapist friend and begged for some advice. he offered to see me at his office, but that would mean an early early thursday morning. i was okay with that. so thursday he stretched me and pulled me and beat me up pretty bad. but, oh my goodness, it was fabulous. he gave me some exercises to do (which i have been doing) and i was much better.

  for added kicks, i decided that that thursday would be a good day to get sick. so i did that. and i have been arguing with my cold and personally financing the manufacturers of advil cold & sinus since then. i finally got some antibiotics last saturday. i am starting to feel better now.

  slime manufacturer in grover beach. my second out-of-town job. i'm getting the hang of this by now and i've pretty much got my packing strategy and weekly laundry routine figured out. this job is pretty good. though the client is brand new to me, i am working with some people i know and can trust, which is great. one perk is that we get to wear jeans every single day. i *love* it. plus we are a stone's throw from the beach. and one of these days i am going to go to the beach. especially now that busy season is officially over and we can work less than 55 hours a week without repercussion. yea!

wow. march has been eventful. thank goodness it's over. thank goodness busy season is over!

what's under your bed?

cleaned out under my bed the other day.

so ... would you say that i *am* or *am not* the type of person who is used to packing up and moving at a moment's notice?

resolved for the better

last week, i went to the hotel gym for an hour each on monday, tuesday, *and* wednesday. then i went running in my neighborhood on saturday morning.

the week before, i went to the hotel gym for about 45 minutes each on tuesday and wednesday, then went running in my neighborhood on saturday morning.

i had oatmeal 2 or 3 times a week the past couple weeks. plus now i am doing the vegetarian day thing.

i think i am doing much better with my new year's resolutions than previously anticipated. and it feels good to be doing something good for me.

upward and onward, friends. upward and onward.

look how they grow!

i mostly took this picture so my mom could see how long my fingernails are. but i figured that all of you would want to see, too. i mean, why wouldn't you?

see, mom? i can let them grow ...

this is what happens when i am working out of town so i can't have weekly harp lessons (which require short nails). plus, i guess i haven't been stressed enough to chomp them off. though ... looking back at how this busy season went ... not sure how i can claim to not have been stressed ...

i didn't really even recognize how long they were getting until my sister commented on them last weekend. yeah.

okay. now i am going to go cut them.

they clack on my keyboard keys.

that gets annoying after a while.

vegetariano por un día

my sister called me on tuesday with the latest and greatest fad diet for me to try for my cholesterol woes:

vegetarian for one day a week

so here's how the gig goes:

• choose one day a week to eat no meat.

okay, maybe i didn't really need to explain that, but ... i did ... live with it.

anyway, so i thought i could give it a try in order to add some structure to my resolution número uno.

being that it was tuesday afternoon that my sister called and told me, the week was about half over before i even knew about my resolution. but because i wanted to get a jump-start on this, i planned for a wednesday vegetarian day. but then the client had brought in yummy mexican food with chicken and steak burritos for lunch. so wednesday was out.

thursday was the next option. and i did really well through all of breakfast and most of the morning. then my co-worker suggested that we sushi it that night and run the charge through. well, can't go to sushi and eat vegetarian. it would be a waste. so ... thursday was out.

and today is friday. gotta do it today. because a vegetarian weekend certainly spells n-o f-u-n. it really does. i looked it up. anyway, i was delighted when my co-worker suggested that we work through lunch and take off early. that meant that i could spend the day un-tempted by restaurant menus and un-influenced by what others are eating. plus, i am way better at maintaining some food self control when i am not eating with others. (don't know why. hmmm. that might be fodder for another self-analysis blog post.)

so today my diet consisted of oatmeal, eggs, hash browns, and o.j. for breakfast. then yogurt with granola, edamame, and (of course) chocolate through the noon hour and the afternoon. i got home from san luis obispo around 9 and i had a grilled cheese sandwich. (on wheat! woot!)

look at that! i did it! a vegetarian for one day!

here's to a great start. check back for updates. y'know, if this is the sort of thing that interests you. yeah.

quotable 2008

okay, following the precedent started last year ... only a little delayed this year ...

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -- confucius

• "never let your failures go to your heart, or your successes go to your head." -- anon.

• "a wise man learns by the mistakes of others; a fool by his own." -- latin proverb

• "to keep your marriage brimming with love from the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it. whenever you're right, shut up." -- ogden nash

• "being in a relationship is like eating ice cream with chop sticks: you're not sure why you're doing it, but you wish everyone would just leave you alone about it." -- unknown

• "life is best enjoyed when time periods are evenly divided between labour, sleep, and recreation... all people should spend one-third of their time in recreation which is rebuilding, voluntary activity -- never idleness." --pres. brigham young

• "whenever i'm about to do something, i think, 'would an idiot do that?' and if they would, then i do not do that thing." -- dwight schrute

• "a government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have." -- thomas jefferson

• "it's better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air, than in the air wishing you were on the ground." -- interesting nasa guy on the airplane, (explaining the benefits of flight delays)

resolutions, v. 2009

so it's the middle of march. shoot me.

i can still make resolutions.

yeah, huh!

okay, so this year, i would first like to announce my great success related to my prior year resolutions. whereas my cholesterol did not go down as much as i had hoped ... i successfully complied with my resolution for one year.

i deserve a pat on the back.

*pat*, *pat*, *pat*

okay, and now on to the main event:

this year's resolutions!

1. red meat and cholesterol - i think i started a theme last year. so we'll see about continuing in that great cause. however, i will not limit my red meat intake to weekends only anymore. because ... well ... just because. so ... this year, i am eating red meat whenever i choose, though not as much as i did in the pre-2008 years. if my resolution last year had any impact on me at all (besides 4 points lower cholesterol, thank you), it has broken my addiction to red meat. don't get me wrong: i still love the stuff. but it is no longer the only thing i eat.

   i am trying to work oatmeal into my diet as a combatant to high cholesterol. i freely admit that this resolution this year is not as well-thought-out and thoroughly defined as last year's. but ... it's busy season. i hardly have time to think about anything. but here's the general idea: eat oatmeal. yeah.

   (if anyone has suggestions for helping me get this goal into action, let me know. keep in mind that i don't have time for breakfast, so oatmeal will be an evening meal. hmm: oatmeal ... evening meal. interesting.)

2. exercise - there was a month a while ago that i went jogging / running 3 times a week. really. i calendared it -- yeah -- i can show you. so ... i think i'm going to do that again. jogging / running 3 times a week. it was easier when i had a buddy, but yeah. no more excuses.

   until busy season is over, i can't promise anything more than maybe 15 minutes at a time, but that's something at least. when summer gets here, we'll talk about maybe stepping that up a notch.

3. spiritual - my stake relief society released a new program called the personal righteousness program in which we make goals around 7 different values and the complete a 15-hour project. it's kind of like the personal progress program in young women.

   as of this moment, i have read through the suggested goals for exactly 1 of those values. i'll remedy that. and then i will do those goals. (if anyone wants more detailed information about the program, let me know. i have a pdf of the whole thing i can send you.)

okay, i think that is all the burden i can pile on my own shoulders right now. i am getting a bit overwhelmed just re-reading all that. [deep breath] just gotta remember that i have the rest of the year to work on these things. yeah.

anyway. there you go. someone once said that a goal not written down is just a wish. so these are my goals: they are written down.

d-i-y car repair?

reggie sounds like an orca whale ... again.

i think it was november that i took him in for a check-up and my mechanic fixed him up real pretty, even changed the power steering fluid tubing because it had a leak.

about a month later, he started squealing at me on cold mornings whenever i turned the wheel. so, after text-consulting a car guru friend, i took him back to the shop. my mechanic tightened the belts and added a super-powered-additive-juice-something to the power steering fluid. pronto! reggie stopped complaining.

until a couple weeks ago. the orca whale is back.

(oh -- i don't actually know what an orca whale sounds like, as opposed to a regular whale, but i presume it says something like "ooorr-caaaaa", which is what reggie says, too, so ... there you go.)

i texted my car guru friend again. he says it might be expensive to fix. so i was thinking of trying to fix it myself. because, y'know, i *am* a fan of do-it-yourselfing it in general -- i mean, if you *can* do it, why not? besides, i figure learning how to fix cars is a good thing.

which is, i am sure, what the owner of this vehicle thought:

see the funniez? yeah, i captured that perfect shot that on the way home a few months ago. heh.

a sign

last night i did not sleep well.

last night i woke up 17 times. okay, maybe not *17*, per se, but many times. and i like the number 17. so there you go.

after an ridiculously exquisitely deep-fried monte cristo at jerry's famous deli in costa mesa, ca, i returned to my hotel room and turned on the tube. on the night before the last day of fieldwork, it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. that was at 10 o'clock.

i fell asleep somewhere around 10:30, if i made it that far.

then for some reason, i was looking at the clock again at 11:43. weird. if you know one thing about me, you know that i sleep well. i am a good sleeper: i fall asleep quickly; i stay asleep. it's kinda my thing. (not exactly a "thing" i can put on my resume ... but my thing nonetheless.)

so waking up only an hour after zonking out was kinda weird.

mmeh, didn't think too much about it ... because i was back to sleep before the clock turned to 11:44.

but, boy, was i restless. i actually remember being asleep and thinking "i'm restless. this is weird." my eyes fluttered open several times over the next couple hours, but i insisted on being asleep.

trying to get past the restlessness, i thought it best to start dreaming. let's see ... what to dream about ... ? summer? maybe. boys? maybe. chocolate. hmmm. that could work ... i sweetly drifted off to a luscious land of flowing chocolate rivers and strawberrys 'a plenty.

at 2:14 i came screeching into consciousness. with a heavy breath and a racing heart, my mind was swimming with spreadsheets; the remnant glare of a computer screen lingered in my semi-conscious mind.

was i ... no ... ... wa- was i ... dreaming about ... work??

no ... couldn't be.

... could it?

as i thought more about it, i started to piece together some of the storyline. i was at my computer. okay. what was i doing? a spreadsheet. yes, i was looking at a spreadsheet. hmm. okay. i, umm, like spreadsheets. okay, no biggie. but what's going on? i looked more closely at the spreadsheet. numbers. some words. hmm. okay. so ... what's the big deal?

i clicked on cell A43, but suddenly my mouse wouldn't respond. excel didn't quite seem to be feeling well. i tried clicking cell E40: nothing. i couldn't click on any cells? umm ... what about the arrows? nope, those buttons didn't work, either. scroll? uh uh. oh no ... switch to something else, let's come back to it: Alt + Tab wasn't working. Ctrl + Alt + Del did nothing! what is going on!? click click, click click!

and *then* ... and *then*! ...

... *then* the spreadsheet started scrolling autonomously. first down about 2,000 rows, then it started scrolling right *and* down. what was it doing? where was it taking me?! i tried to click out of it. i tried Alt + Tab again and *nothing*! arrows? no. Ctrl + Home? okay, that takes me back up to the top left ... the scrolling paused ... maybe it's okay? maybe? ... *nope!* we are headed southeast again! stop! stop stop!! click! arrow! Alt + Tab! stop!! please stop!

and that, friends, is when i opened my eyes to see 2:14 become 2:15.

as my breathing began to slow, i could feel my heart jump back out of my throat. [sigh]. okay. it was just a dream. it was just a dream.

...

i submit that this *could* be a sign that it is *possible* that i am working too much.