quotable 2010

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "as an individual undertakes to live by borrowing, soon finds his original means devoured by interest and, next, no one left to borrow from; so must it be with government." -- abraham lincoln
• "when one door closes, another opens. but we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us." -- alexander graham bell
• "pride is spiritual cancer. it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense." -- cs lewis
• "for attractive lips, speak words of kindness. for lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. for a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. for beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. for poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. people, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never through out anyone. remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. as you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others." -- audrey hepburn
• "o segredo nao e' correr atras das borboletas ... e sim cuidar do jardim para que elas venham ate voce." -- unknown
• ‎"don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- ann landers
• "the measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out." -- thomas babington macaulay
• "in the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or brilliance. they either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not." -- anonymous

quotable 2009

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "as an individual undertakes to live by borrowing, soon finds his original means devoured by interest and, next, no one left to borrow from; so must it be with government." -- abraham lincoln

• "we can aspire to anything, but we don't get it just because we want it. i would rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing i had wings." -- patient, on episode of house

• "a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -- donna roberts

• "to many people, free will is a license to rebel not against what is unjust or hard in life but against what is best for them and true." -- dean koontz, in the darkest evening of the year

• "going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." -- unknown

• "some people are like slinkies. they don't really have a purpose but it still brings a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs." -- unknown

what's under your bed?

cleaned out under my bed the other day.

so ... would you say that i *am* or *am not* the type of person who is used to packing up and moving at a moment's notice?

quotable 2008

okay, following the precedent started last year ... only a little delayed this year ...

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -- confucius

• "never let your failures go to your heart, or your successes go to your head." -- anon.

• "a wise man learns by the mistakes of others; a fool by his own." -- latin proverb

• "to keep your marriage brimming with love from the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it. whenever you're right, shut up." -- ogden nash

• "being in a relationship is like eating ice cream with chop sticks: you're not sure why you're doing it, but you wish everyone would just leave you alone about it." -- unknown

• "life is best enjoyed when time periods are evenly divided between labour, sleep, and recreation... all people should spend one-third of their time in recreation which is rebuilding, voluntary activity -- never idleness." --pres. brigham young

• "whenever i'm about to do something, i think, 'would an idiot do that?' and if they would, then i do not do that thing." -- dwight schrute

• "a government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have." -- thomas jefferson

• "it's better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air, than in the air wishing you were on the ground." -- interesting nasa guy on the airplane, (explaining the benefits of flight delays)

those days

you know those days when it seems like you can't do anything right? like, you don't say things right? you don't do things right? you don't foresee the consequences of what you do? you walk away from conversations with an unsettled feeling? you kinda just have an unsettled feeling all the time? you find yourself waiting to see just how big the explosion is going to be when things finally do explode? and you find yourself laughing at it all because you just don't know what else to do about it?

i think i am on week 3 of those days. i kinda think i shouldn't have gotten out of my bed this morning.

do they let you just get back *in* bed?

opinions, please?

the following was sent to me as an excerpt from an article entitled, "seven deadly dating sins". this is kinda the consensus of *lots* of advice i have recently received. i definitely have an opinion about this subject, but i'd like to hear your comments (and feel free to leave anonymous comments, if you want).

"Never keep your ex in your phone or on your buddy list. After you drop his toothbrush in the toilet—oops!—the first thing you should do after a nasty breakup is to get him off your radar. Completely. That means removing his number from your cell phone, getting him off any speed dials, and bumping him off your buddy lists online. Why this draconian purging? If the relationship and breakup were intense and emotional, it can be hard to wash him out of your hair. For many people, getting rid of all contact info is an important part of healing and finally being able to move on. And if you still have feelings for your ex—good or bad—having that number or buddy user name available at the press of a button makes it all too easy to put off the healing that needs to be done with a call or message."

share your thoughts. i'd like to know. thanks!

:D

quotable 2007

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "we do not remember days, we remember moments." -- cesare pavese

• "it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." -- eleanor roosevelt

• "we don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." -- anais nin

• "he who takes offense when none is intended is a fool, he who takes offense when offense is intended is a bigger fool."-- confucius

• "love is blind (and sometimes deaf and stupid)." -- anon.

today

i am just about to finish the third of dean koontz' odd thomas series and i am as pleased with this one as the other two. the third book is called brother odd and takes place at a monastery deep in the california sierras during a fierce winter storm.

the title character made the following observation early in the story:

when we hope, we usually hope for the wrong thing.we yearn for tomorrow and the progress that it represents. but yesterday was once tomorrow, and where was the progress in it?

or we yearn for yesterday, for what was or what might have been. but as we are yearning, the present is becoming the past, so the past is nothing but our yearning for second chances. ...

as long as i remain subject to the river of time, which will be as long as i may live, there is no way back ... to anything.

i tend to agree with this description -- we lose too many "todays" either looking forward or looking back. i am particularly guilty of this: i make plans and goals and constantly think about where i am going and what is coming next, rather than fully enjoy what i am doing along the way. sure, looking back i have many fond memories, but i definitely recall feelings of impatience in most every one. and that impatience remains my constant companion.

president monson once gave a talk in general conference with a similar theme entitled in search of treasure, in which he stated that "sometimes we let our thoughts of tomorrow take up too much of today. daydreaming of the past and longing for the future may provide comfort but will not take the place of living in the present. this is the day of our opportunity, and we must grasp it." there are so many good things to do *today*.

i heard a striking comercial on the radio the other day. the narrator went through a list of questions such as the following, "remember that one time you almost volunteered at the food bank? remember the day that you almost donated blood? and the time you almost visited a sick friend at the nursing home? ..." my dad used to tell me that "almost" only counts in horseshoes, grenades, and kissing.

president monson noted in the same conference talk that "there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today, and to live most fully today, we must do that which is of greatest importance. let us not procrastinate those things which matter most."

what are the things that matter most? and why am i not doing those? elder neal a. maxwell once commented that we may be filling our lives with so many good things that we don't have time for the most important things. we need to have priorities -- and allow those priorities to guide our daily decisions, guide our daily actions. so that we may accomplish "those things which matter most," as president monson counsels. and accomplish them *today*.

faith, prayer, and gratitude

i love the story of the jaredites. yesterday i got to Ether chapter 6 on my Book of Mormon cd. this is perhaps my favourite part of the whole Book of Mormon.

the faith of this people is such an example. and the Lord takes care of them as He promised.

4 And it came to pass that when they had prepared all manner of food, that thereby they might subsist upon the water, and also food for their flocks and herds, and whatsoever beast or animal or fowl that they should carry with them—and it came to pass that when they had done all these things they got aboard of their vessels or barges, and set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God.

now, i can't imagine that this voyage was pleasant or even really bearable at all.

5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.
6 And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.
7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

i love the reaction of the jaredites when in this situation. here, the Lord had guided them to the edge of the sea, had instructed them how to build these vessels, and -- once they were aboard -- had blessed them with a "furious wind" to push their vessels across the atlantic. this great blessing -- the means for them to reach their destination -- caused difficulties and trials. and when the people prayed, the Lord brought them to the surface of the water.

i find an interesting parallel here: we have many times been commanded to do things in this life -- and we are blessed in our efforts to accomplish them -- and when we find that we are struggling to overcome trials or obstacles, the Lord will hear us and lift us back up so that we can continue our journey.

8 And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.
9 And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.
10 And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water.
11 And thus they were driven forth, three hundred and forty and four days upon the water.
12 And they did land upon the shore of the promised land. And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them.

the jaredites sang praises of gratitude, recognized the great blessings they received, and the Lord did not cease to bless them. we are also so blessed.

oh, hello

i was surprised to get a good email from a good friend this morning. i guess it wasn't so much the content of the email that was so good, come to think of it -- there wasn't any particularly good news or anything -- but it put me in such a good mood to just know that a friend was thinking of me.

funny how that is.

the first of ten

the first commandment is "thou shalt have no other gods before Me." being the first of the ten commandments accentuates its importance.

though we often mentally categorize ourselves as different than the people of the Old and New Testaments, president kimball taught that "false gods or idols include 'everything which entices a person away from duty, loyalty, and love for and service to God.'" we, today, have idols that we place in importance before God: work, money, a nice home, cars, vacations, people, sports, titles/degrees, time.

most interesting to me in this list is time. i believe that where we spend our time truly indicates where we have placed our hearts and our desires. where do i spend my time? what do i do first in the day? when i get into my car each morning, how long do i listen to the radio before i push the "play" button on my Book of Mormon on cd? do i spend more time deciding what clothes to wear than in humble prayer?

"if we insist on spending all our time and resources building up for ourselves a worldly kingdom, that is exactly what we will inherit," taught president kimball. but is that what we really want when the game is over?

president kimball noted that "few men have ever knowingly and deliberately chosen to reject God and his blessings. rather, we learn from the scriptures that because the exercise of faith has always appeared to be more difficult than relying on things more immediately at hand, carnal man has tended to transfer his trust in God to material things." believing in God and His plan for his children is far different than trusting Him. i believe that God has a very individual plan *for me*, but do i trust Him and readily act on that faith?

i want to marry someone who is committed to the Lord, who desires more than anything to please Him. and when i say "more than anything", i mean it quite literally. now, how do *i* show that i desire more than anything to please God and accomplish His plan for me? (i've obviously got marriage on my mind these days. that's okay: i'm a girl -- it happens.)

i am full of questions -- i don't have many answers. today's relief society lesson has inspired much thought. what i know is that i want to be ever closer to my Heavenly Father and ever more like my Saviour. a friend of my father's once noted that the answer to every question is "more faith in Jesus Christ and an eye more single to His glory."

shower thinkin'

in a non-stop uber-busy life, you gotta take advantage of the quiet, slow(-er) moments to think. for me, that's the shower time.

my thoughts recently have primarily circled around a couple people.

seattle boy: i spend time hoping he is well. it's been a long time since we talked and i miss him. i miss that friendship and contact with someone that i know cares genuinely about me and my welfare. i miss the nonsense conversations that leave me rolling on the floor in fits of laughter. i think about how things must be difficult for him until he can speak to seattle girl. i wonder how he's doing with that and in general. i wonder if i will get a wedding announcement. i wonder if i'll ever get to speak to him again and i think about what i'd like to say to him, if i do. i think about seattle girl and wish that she knew me so she could trust me. i think about what i love about my friendship with seattle boy and what i love about him, which thought has recently been underscored by his desire to do what is right and to be right before God in all things, recognizing that his own weaknesses can be improved, step by step. i think of the importance of that in the person that i am looking to marry.

cute guy: i think about our relationship. i think about his current life situation: where he is now, where he is going. and unfortunately, i spend too much time thinking about where i wish he were. i wonder what it would be like to meet his kids. i wonder what it would be like if we lived closer together. i wonder what he thinks about me and about our relationship. i wonder if he thinks this is going anywhere, or if it is just something to do for now. i also analyze my own motivations in our relationship. do i see him for who he is?

in all this thinking, one prevailing thought is the question of what kind of person do i want to marry. i mean, this whole dating thing has that as its purpose, right? so ... let's get to the point. i previously wrote that i want 2 things: (1) a man of God, and (2) a best friend. i want someone who wants *me*. who chooses me above everyone else, not because there is no one else or because he can't have whom he really wants. and yet, i want someone that will put God and His plan above me.

okay, too much thinking is bad. for me, anyway. i am a doer. thinking irritates me because, even after all that time spent thinking, i am usually in the same boat, still rowing along in generally the same direction. sorry, that's me looking for the efficiency and effectiveness in everything. so i am going to wrap this up. some pretty aimless thoughts, i admit, but maybe i'll be able to put them together cohesively some day ...

what do i want?

i read something interesting this morning that has made me think a lot. it was the story of a woman who found exactly what she wanted, what fit her perfectly, and the description of that long and difficult journey.

so with all the thinking that was inspired, i've been questioning what it is exactly that i want. i threw out my "list" years ago. my stake president counseled that we should look for two things: (1) a man/woman of God, and (2) someone that can be your best friend. so i crossed everything else off.

because, like the author of the story i read, i want to find the person that fits me. and within these two characteristics lies what i really want.

i also want to be the perfect fit for him.

my brother made a comment to me a couple months ago. he got engaged to a really great girl in 2005, but the engagement was soon called off and he had a difficult time understanding how he could love someone so much and yet it wasn't right, it wasn't the right fit. his good friend said something that only a good friend can get away with saying, "she was perfect for you, but you weren't perfect for her."

at the time that my brother shared this with me, i was conflicted. i have a very good friend that i care for very much and want very much for him to be happy. we dated for a little while when we first met, and then we stopped dating and were just friends -- he was interested in someone else -- we became good friends.

dealing with the ups and downs of life, our relationship was constantly being redefined, but he never felt for me the way he felt for this other person. he always wanted her. i knew that. and no matter how much i thought he was perfect for me, i wasn't perfect for him.

and that's okay.

i still love and respect him very much and pray for him and the girl he loves. they make each other happy, which gives me hope because *that* is something that i want to find someday.

just as i don't want to settle, i don't want to make another settle for less than delirious happiness with a best friend who is a man/woman of God.

you have to choose happiness

i have been reading a great book: the second in the odd thomas series by dean koontz. i read odd thomas last year -- loved it -- though, it took me over 3 months to finish because i don't have much time for reading ... i just checked out the second book, forever odd, last week and i am already digging into it.

these are the autobiographical story of a fictional young man who can see dead people -- much like unto the little boy in sixth sense. but the dead people in these books know they are dead: they are the lingering dead. they haven't moved on to the next life either for fear of it, or because they have some unfinished business in this life. quite often they desire to help uncover the causes of their deaths, though there are also those like elvis presley who stick around for some unknown yet intriguing reason.

last night i read a passage about happiness in forever odd that i really liked. so, here you go:

"i'm happy," i assured him.
for a block or so, he didn't say anything. then: "you're at peace, son. there's a big difference."
"which would be what?"
"if you're still, and if you don't hope too much, peace will come to you. it's a grace. but you have to choose happiness."
"it's that easy, is it? just choose?"
"making the decision to choose isn't always easy."
i said, "this sounds like you've been thinking too much."
"we sometimes take refuge in misery, a strange kind of comfort."
although he paused, i said nothing.
he continued: "but no matter what happens in life, happiness is there for us, waiting to be embraced."
"sir, did this come to you after three bottles of negra modelo, or was it four?"
"it must have been three. i never drink as many as four."

for some reason this really touched me. made me think alot about whether i am happy or simply at peace ...

(the third book in the series is brother odd. i'll be reading that as soon as i finish this one. i highly recommend the series. i actually kinda wish they'd make a movie out of it. the character is just so captivating.)

ever a missionary

i got an email from a friend in brasil the other day. last friday. completely out of the blue. he was a member that lived in my second area (i was there june-2003 to october-2003). he was great to work with, served in the Temple, always willing to help us out in the missionary work, etc. a really amazing guy.

so he sent me a quick email on friday just saying hi and that he had been looking online to find the missionaries that taught and baptized him and he ended up finding me! he thought that i probably wouldn't remember who he was, but he just wanted to say hi.

i was so happy to get his email! of course i remembered him. i remember (and miss) so many people down there! i wrote him back right away and just kinda gave a quick update about what i was doing and asked what he was up to and how the ward and everything was down there.

i got his response email yesterday. kinda made me sad to find out that he stopped going to church about 2 years ago. there was some misunderstanding and some hurt feelings so he stopped going. he didn't give me lots of details, but yeah.

i hate to learn that people stop going to church because of the actions of other people! i mean, c'mon!! going to Church has nothing to do with that!! we go to Church because we love the Lord and we've made a commitment to Him.

my friend ended his second email saying that if i decided that i don't want to talk to him anymore that he will understand and he won't be mad at me and he will continue to pray for me. i'm not gonna stop talking to him because of this. if anything, it is motivation for me to talk to him and talk through this with him. but he also *has* to recognize that everything i can and will say to him is stuff he already knows -- i'm not going to be revealing some hidden truth or anything. and he has to expect that i'm not going to just let this lie.

it's interesting to me that my mission still continues. it was such a blessing in my life and continues to provide me opportunities to serve and love. i have kept in contact with a few people down there. but i've lost contact with many of the people i love down there. my mission also gives me so many opportunities to talk about the Church and my beliefs with new people that i meet here. i love that.

changed my mind

i think i don't want to go to seattle anymore.

self-reflection

okay. i've had some time to just reflect on some things recently and wanted to put it out in words to see if i can make some changes in my life.

i am judgemental. i never thought that i was. but recently i have discovered in myself a definition of that word that i hadn't previously considered. i think maybe a better way to say it would be "quick to judge". which, i guess follows suit since most people that know me can recognize that i am "quick" to do most things: i'm impulsive; i speed on the freeway (shh, don't tell); when i decide to do something, i do it right then; i eat quickly; i pee like a racehorse; i type quickly; i constantly look for short-cuts in most everything i do; and my harp teacher is about ready to tattoo "slow down" on my forehead ...

and i recently realized that i get very frustrated with people because i am quick to decide what their actions (or lack of actions) really mean, as if i have any place in doing so. and the part of that realization that really gets me is the fact that i cause the frustration myself.

i've already described a little about my work in an earlier blog. i work with a team of accountants from my firm and, together, we go to a client's office to accomplish our work. i am given assignments. i am expected to complete them. and i have seen during the last 2 weeks or so some aspects of myself that i'm not really happy about. i don't think my senior likes me. i think that he thinks i am not fast enough, not efficient enough, and not smart enough to accomplish the assignments he gives me. and i also just feel like he doesn't like me. we went to lunch as a team this week. he treated me very nicely -- he was kind, even asked me questions about my personal life (not prying, just making conversation), and was just very polite. i was taken aback. and i shouldn't have been. yes, during the previous week or so, he hadn't been very conversational during the work day, but he was working on his own stuff. i had judged his behaviour to mean that he didn't like me. i now believe i was wrong.

i have a good friend that lives out-of-state. so we keep in contact over the phone and such, and it's been really great. i think we've become better friends even. but there are times when i don't hear from him for like 5 to 6 days. yeah, i know: can you believe, 5 or 6 days!?! :S and somehow this sends me into a panic that we aren't friends anymore and that if i try calling him then i will be being too pushy and annoying. so i wait another day or two to see if he will call me. and then i finally give in, and i text him. he is more than happy to hear from me and we have a good conversation. i'll hear from him again a couple days later and i don't worry about it anymore until the cycle starts over again and i don't hear from him for another 5 or 6 days ...

ridiculous.

i have a friend at work that started on the same day as i did. we are both taking the CPA test (it's 4 tests that you can schedule and take on your own schedule). i know that he took one of his tests in january. i am certain that he got his score already and i am curious how he did. but i have convinced myself that he will get annoyed with me if i call him and ask.

one of my new girl friends likes to go running/jogging. not far and not fast. perfect: just like me. well, we have talked about going a couple times, and have even scheduled to go a couple times, but we still haven't gone. we were supposed to go this morning. she was going to call me when she woke up and was headed over to my place and we would go from here. she didn't call. and i didn't call her. i remember actually thinking about calling her and deciding that "if she really wanted to go, she would call me. so she must not want to go after all."

now, during this moment of self-reflection, again i have to just recognize how ridiculous all of this seems. if we were to reverse any of these situations, i wouldn't at all have the reactions that i am assuming these other people -- even people i call "my friends" -- would have. where's my foundation in assuming such reactions?

i need to communicate better. i have prided myself on my fearless, straight-forward nature when it comes to addressing some situations that generally scare people: public speaking, resolving maintenance issues with apartment management, teaching a class, helping resolve concerns between friends, stating an opinion that i know people won't like ... and yet, i am *sooo* bad at really communicating with the people who are important to me.

a beginning

i was washing my car yesterday and thought of something interesting. can't remember it now. hmmm.

maybe it will come back to me later.