quotable 2010

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "as an individual undertakes to live by borrowing, soon finds his original means devoured by interest and, next, no one left to borrow from; so must it be with government." -- abraham lincoln
• "when one door closes, another opens. but we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us." -- alexander graham bell
• "pride is spiritual cancer. it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense." -- cs lewis
• "for attractive lips, speak words of kindness. for lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. for a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. for beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. for poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. people, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never through out anyone. remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. as you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others." -- audrey hepburn
• "o segredo nao e' correr atras das borboletas ... e sim cuidar do jardim para que elas venham ate voce." -- unknown
• ‎"don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- ann landers
• "the measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out." -- thomas babington macaulay
• "in the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or brilliance. they either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not." -- anonymous

c.r.i.m.e.a.i.d.

i just got this memo from our office building management.

of all the things to steal ... the back seat of the car?

reverse thinking

yes

quotable 2009

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "as an individual undertakes to live by borrowing, soon finds his original means devoured by interest and, next, no one left to borrow from; so must it be with government." -- abraham lincoln

• "we can aspire to anything, but we don't get it just because we want it. i would rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing i had wings." -- patient, on episode of house

• "a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -- donna roberts

• "to many people, free will is a license to rebel not against what is unjust or hard in life but against what is best for them and true." -- dean koontz, in the darkest evening of the year

• "going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." -- unknown

• "some people are like slinkies. they don't really have a purpose but it still brings a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs." -- unknown

stars, diamonds, and shower curtains

how do you rate a hotel?

the star classification system is a common one for rating hotels. higher star ratings indicate more luxury. the aaa and their affiliated bodies use diamonds instead of stars to express hotel and restaurant ratings levels.

but what criteria do they use to rate hotels? room size? friendliness of the concierge? size of the flat screen? luxury of the sheets?

me? i use shower curtains.

more specifically, shower curtain rods.

a good hotel has a round shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

the rounder the better.

i mean, look at this:

i'm definitely gonna have round shower curtain rods in my bathrooms when i grow up. and all my house guests will herald the luxury, opulence, splendor, and bliss that it is to visit me.

they will.

paranoia

sometimes i have this recurring, somewhat totally unfounded panic: that my car is being stolen at that very moment.

now, i have never had a car get stolen. i always make sure to lock the doors and set the car alarm, which not only makes an incredibly annoying sound (especially when i accidentally set it off in the middle of the night -- an all too frequent occurrence), but it disables the ignition if not deactivated properly. i live in a pretty safe neighborhood (despite the drug dealers we got arrested middle of last year because they set up shop out in front of the house -- ssshh, don't tell my mom).

but really, this stolen car panic hits me out of the blue too frequently.

and usually, i run through a pretty consistent train of thought:

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

"anything valuable in there?"

"the glove box?"

"sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat??"

that's the point when i realize how ridiculously paranoid i am being. and i try to force myself to forget about it and not rush out to check.

of course, i am always quite happily relieved to walk out (run?) to the car when it's time to leave and see little reggie sitting and waiting for me. he's such a good boy.

today was one such panic.

i arrived at stake conference about 17 minutes late, found a great parking space, and hurried in, all the while attempting to text guilt trip one of my friends into coming to stake conference, to no avail. oh, well.

i found a seat next to a cute couple in my ward and settled in to listen to the talks when the panic started.

so ... here we go ...

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

and that's when i remembered that i already catalogued the trunk. [*sigh* *of* *relief*!]

now, if anyone actually does steal my car, i already know what to claim on my insurance!

wait -- does insurance cover trunk contents? hmm.

well ... if not, i guess i have a shopping list for replacing all that stuff myself!

quotable 2008

okay, following the precedent started last year ... only a little delayed this year ...

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -- confucius

• "never let your failures go to your heart, or your successes go to your head." -- anon.

• "a wise man learns by the mistakes of others; a fool by his own." -- latin proverb

• "to keep your marriage brimming with love from the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it. whenever you're right, shut up." -- ogden nash

• "being in a relationship is like eating ice cream with chop sticks: you're not sure why you're doing it, but you wish everyone would just leave you alone about it." -- unknown

• "life is best enjoyed when time periods are evenly divided between labour, sleep, and recreation... all people should spend one-third of their time in recreation which is rebuilding, voluntary activity -- never idleness." --pres. brigham young

• "whenever i'm about to do something, i think, 'would an idiot do that?' and if they would, then i do not do that thing." -- dwight schrute

• "a government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have." -- thomas jefferson

• "it's better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air, than in the air wishing you were on the ground." -- interesting nasa guy on the airplane, (explaining the benefits of flight delays)

love and marriage

(i've debated with myself about whether or not i should post this here, primarily because i don't want to propogate a political debate on my blog, but i feel strongly enough about the issue and want to get some knowledge and thoughts out there. if you'd rather not read this, that's fine. yes, it's about prop 8.)

i read an article today that expressed well a few ideas that i have had rolling around in my head. whereas this article doesn't articulate everything rolling around in my head, the author explains clearly a few key points. here are some excerpts from the article:

"The debate over whether the state ought to recognize gay marriages has thus far focused on the issue as one of civil rights. Such a treatment is erroneous because state recognition of marriage is not a universal right. States regulate marriage in many ways besides denying men the right to marry men, and women the right to marry women. Roughly half of all states prohibit first cousins from marrying, and all prohibit marriage of closer blood relatives, even if the individuals being married are sterile. In all states, it is illegal to attempt to marry more than one person, or even to pass off more than one person as one’s spouse. Some states restrict the marriage of people suffering from syphilis or other venereal diseases. Homosexuals, therefore, are not the only people to be denied the right to marry the person of their choosing.

"I do not claim that all of these other types of couples restricted from marrying are equivalent to homosexual couples. I only bring them up to illustrate that marriage is heavily regulated, and for good reason. When a state recognizes a marriage, it bestows upon the couple certain benefits which are costly to both the state and other individuals. Collecting a deceased spouse’s social security, claiming an extra tax exemption for a spouse, and having the right to be covered under a spouse’s health insurance policy are just a few examples of the costly benefits associated with marriage. In a sense, a married couple receives a subsidy ...

"Some argue that homosexual marriages serve a state interest because they enable gays to live in committed relationships. However, there is nothing stopping homosexuals from living in such relationships today. Advocates of gay marriage claim gay couples need marriage in order to have hospital visitation and inheritance rights, but they can easily obtain these rights by writing a living will and having each partner designate the other as trustee and heir. There is nothing stopping gay couples from signing a joint lease or owning a house jointly, as many single straight people do with roommates. The only benefits of marriage from which homosexual couples are restricted are those that are costly to the state and society ...

"The biggest danger homosexual civil marriage presents is the enshrining into law the notion that sexual love, regardless of its fecundity, is the sole criterion for marriage. If the state must recognize a marriage of two men simply because they love one another, upon what basis can it deny marital recognition to a group of two men and three women, for example, or a sterile brother and sister who claim to love each other? Homosexual activists protest that they only want all couples treated equally. But why is sexual love between two people more worthy of state sanction than love between three, or five? When the purpose of marriage is procreation, the answer is obvious. If sexual love becomes the primary purpose, the restriction of marriage to couples loses its logical basis, leading to marital chaos."

i think we forget in all of this hype that is currently taking over my tv and my city that marriage is not a civil right and was never purported to be. love whomever you choose: there is no legal restriction on that. but align yourself to the notion that the definition of marriage does not encompass all love relationships.

electoral

*this* is why my vote won't matter in this presidential election:

(this map was put together by liz green for her blog post, "looking for the magic number 270? turn your eyes to the state polls" for yahoo news.)

as many of us may not remember, the presidency is not decided by popular vote. it's decided by the electoral college. we vote on nov-4; they vote on dec-15 this year. the candidate who gets a majority of the electoral college votes wins, so we really only need to be concerned with what collection of states a candidate can put together to get to 270 (a simple majority; there are 538 total electoral college votes divvied up among the states as shown above).

which then just becomes a math game ...

(i know, "math" and "game" aren't usually used together in a sentence, and certainly don't usually denote anything fun ... but stick with me here.)

okay. come tuesday, i won't actually be voting for obama or mccain, i will be voting for my state's electors. california has 55 electors in the electoral college, the most of any state.

according to wikipedia, "electors are technically free to vote for anyone eligible to be president, but in practice pledge to vote for specific candidates and voters cast ballots for favored presidential and vice presidential candidates by voting for correspondingly pledged electors. ... the ticket that receives the most votes statewide 'wins' all of the votes cast by electors from that state."

what does that mean? except for in two states in the union, each state's electors are all or nothing. which means that whichever ticket wins a majority of the popular vote in the state, wins all of that state's electoral votes. so ... whichever ticket wins a majority of the popular vote in california, wins all 55 electoral votes. as few as 50% of the california population plus 1 person can vote blue and all 55 of my state's electoral votes go blue. hmmm.

which is why my state has usually been blue and will probably be blue for the foreseeable future. the same is true of states like utah (whose 5 votes almost always go red), texas (whose 34 votes also usually go red), and new york (whose 31 votes usually go blue).

as you can see, unless you live in one of the "swing states" (which are denoted as grey in the map above, and this year they are colorado, florida, indiana, missouri, nevada, new mexico, north carolina, ohio, pennsylvania, virginia, and new hampshire), the decision is generally already made for you. i hope you swing staters realize this and get out and vote; make your voice heard.

my intention is not to encourage a lack of participation in our country's election, nor an indifference or sense of disempowerment. i am frustrated with the way the system works. i can believe that when the electoral college was set up, it was necessary in order to conduct an efficient and effective election that provided for the interests of both the individual citizen and the states. i don't believe we need it now. i believe that we do not so much define ourselves as citizens of states, but as citizens of this country. i believe that the electoral college represents better the voices of states over the voices of individual citizens because i believe the system as it is now blocks my voice from being heard at all.

...

and i know that unless obama, mccain, and all the 538 members of the senate and the house of representatives read my blog and think i actually know something of which i speak, none of this ranting will matter. but i just can't hold it in any longer!

don't think less of me.

:P

please note that, yes, i am going to vote. despite all these frustrations, i believe that we should vote. i have already received my absentee ballot, which i am going to mail in tomorrow. as my mom always says, "if you don't vote, you don't have room to complain". and i like to complain! ha!

(ps -- if anyone has input or enlightenment to share with me as the necessity of the electoral college and the purpose for its existence in our nation today, i would really like to discuss. really.)

yes

in case anyone is looking for some info online about prop 8 here in california, here's a collection of vidoes and stuff i just got in an email. with the upcoming election, i thought i'd get this out there for anyone interested ...

yes on 8 youtube videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI-GjWY-WlA -- this is one of the best: proposition 8 in plain english (especially good for kids... and adults)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kKn5LNhNto -- 1st ad from protectmarriage.com (gavin newsom)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PgjcgqFYP4 -- 2nd ad from protectmarriage.com (i can marry a princess)

https://www.icontribute.us/protectmarriage/initiative/schools-web -- 3rd ad from protectmarriage.com (it's all about schools)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2JOe04h1pI -- ad showing the slippery slope of how marriage becoming everything to everyone will make marriage nothing to anyone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko2-EQss0V4 -- party a & party b spoof ad

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1815820715?bctid=1822459319
-- frc mini documentary on the parkers in massachusetts

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1352578267?bctid=1784553601
-- frc on black race vs. sexual preference

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1352578267?bctid=1784521903
-- frc parkers and wirthlin on massachusetts gay education

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1352578267?bctid=1749436976
-- frc about the importance of voting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puI4pfRB0w0 -- parkers in massachusetts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx-glEL5SHE -- uk warns us "don't follow our lead"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDwIy3mT1Po -- vote "yes to proposition 8" (same sex marriage) / part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXjrULY3RMw -- vote "yes to proposition 8" (same sex marriage) / part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsiZ3crfXXc -- vote "yes to proposition 8" (same sex marriage) / part 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeUJd4y87iU -- support prop 8 - newt gingrich on judicial tyranny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjC4lQ90Sas -- governor romney on gay marriage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8EwbEh8EKo -- catholic bishop speaks in support of prop 102 (arizona)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_V76Gbrpys -- tom minnery of focus on the family introduces glenn stanton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZk5lew9vMA -- glenn stanton preface to his 10 questions and talks about how to engage this issue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL2MJ6hah-I -- glenn stanton question 1: how will my same-sex marriage hurt your marriage?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p81mkYOtJMU -- glenn stanton question 2: is same-sex marriage like interracial marriage?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEL0f2yuqLo -- glenn stanton question 3: where does it stop?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF6w2ILsyUA -- glenn stanton question 4: can't we have religious marriage and civil marriage?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9cYmAGbREA -- glenn stanton question 5: what public good does marriage provide?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5QYnJwQttQ -- glenn stanton question 6: is it healthy to experiment with children?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8P3x0UsTNQ -- glenn stanton question 7: haven't experts said same-sex parenting is fine?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx3IqxKFCp4 -- glenn stanton question 8: how do we know what kind of families kids need?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDOJdIQbGIE -- glenn stanton question 9: are the needs of kids or adults more important?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YmONdhwXCg -- glenn stanton question 10: does gender really matter?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiX5APGCroU -- young adult video shown during prop 8 fireside with elders ballard, cook & clayton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewXaVmfOj2w -- elder nelson on marriage

http://www.preservingmarriage.org/videos.html -- lds church's multi-media site on prop 8. this has lots of really good videos from church members

http://www.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/media/mediaplayer.swf?media=http://broadcast.lds.org/newsroom/video/flv/California_Broadcast_8Oct08.flv&type=FLV -- excerpts from the proposition 8 broadcast for california latter-day saints, october 8, 2008

websites

- http://www.blogger.com/www.ProtectMarriage.com

- http://www.blogger.com/www.Focusonsocialissues.org

- http://www.blogger.com/www.JohnRankin.org

- http://www.blogger.com/www.Standformarriage.com

post script

i just wanted to thank everyone for your comments on my last post. i am so blessed with good friends and family. thank you!!

also, just wanted to clarify something: even though i am happy with my life as it is and ... [insert text from previous post] ... i still like to get set up! i think it's so much fun to get to know new people! i especially appreciate knowing that my friends and family are keeping an eye out for me. so ... if any of y'all have any suggestions for me ... send 'em over!

:P

a (runaway) train of thought

cute guy said to me last night that he thought i had given up on getting married. he said that he thought i had said something at some point to the effect of "well, if it happens, it happens. but if not, that's okay." which, i guess may be exactly what i said, but not intending to mean that i have given up on the whole getting married thing. and i told him that. i told him that perhaps i had said that, but what i meant was that i know that it isn't all up to me. i know that if i do get married, i will. but if i don't, i know that i will be happy and be okay with it because i know Heavenly Father wants me to be happy, so that would be what makes me happy.

a few years ago, a guy that i had known for maybe a half hour asked me, "so are you one of those girls that wants to do her career first before getting married?" i told him quite assuredly, "no." i didn't express this to him at the time (because i like to just think about things for a while before forming and stating an opinion), but i really didn't like that he asked me that. i thought back over the brief conversation that i had had with him prior to his question, and i honestly didn't know -- and still don't know -- what i had said that made him think that.

but let me declare here and now that i do want to get married. i want to have a family of my own. i want to have kids. i want all of that. but i'm not going to stress myself out about it; i'm not going to be depressed that i am not yet at that stage in my life. and i add that comment especially despite the fact that "round" after "round" of my friends have gotten married and fallen into the married-people-don't-have-contact-with-unmarrieds hole.

i see the articles in the ensign encouraging the single adults in the Church to be anxiously engaged in activities and pursuing those things that will make them better servants in the Kingdom and better children of God all around. these articles make me think. these articles lead me to evaluate my life. these articles assure me that i am doing the right thing in pursuing the activities that interest me, in building friendships with (married and single) people all around me, in seeking to improve myself and my station in life. these articles encourage me to do better and to be better.

then i listen to friends who bemoan the curse of singledom, and i understand why our leaders are concerned for the single adults. and i understand why my mom mails me my own special copy of these issues of the ensign.

i don't feel a need to be concerned about *why* i am not married yet. i don't feel a desperation to "fix" the situation. i don't feel ashamed or embarrased that my life isn't like that of my older and younger (married) sisters. my life is the way it is. i have done so many great things with the opportunities that i have had. i'm not unhappy. i choose not to be. and it *is* my choice. i find joy in the experiences i have had and in the ones i look forward to.

i'm not saying that i am glad that i haven't gotten married yet "because it has given me the opportunity to have the experiences i have had". i don't say that because there is no comparison -- there is no conceivable way to compare my life to the one i could have had if i were married already.

which thought reminds me of a question i got many times as a kid: "so do you like having your birthday right before Christmas?" well ... my response: "do you like having yours *not* right before Christmas?" how do you answer that? have you known it any other way? or, another frequent question: "did you like moving around a lot as a kid?" well, "did you like living in one house the whole time you grew up?" can you really form a like/dislike opinion about something for which you have no basis of comparison? do you really know if you like chocolate if you haven't tried vanilla? like/dislike is a relative measure.

we all know the phrase, "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." it is greener because we don't live there. if we did live in that other very green yard, perhaps we would notice the weeds, the dandelions, the tufts of crab grass. if we did live in that other very green yard, perhaps we would know all the watering, weeding, and work it takes to make it *look* so green. if we did live in that other very green yard, perhaps we would look across the fence and see a yard that looks nice and comfortable, not perfect, but loved anyway; a yard that is unique; a yard that, perhaps at times, even appears greener than our own. that's the problem with comparing: we simply don't have the right perspective.

and so i cannot compare my life as i have had it with my experiences, trials, and joys to the life i could have had if i had been married already.

i wouldn't trade my life for any other, not because "i *love* my life" and "i wouldn't trade it for any other" ... but quite simply because i *can't*: i *can't* trade it for any other. my life is a blessing that Heavenly Father gave *to me*; it is *for me*. i am not bound to try and "return" such a gift. and i am not going to let Satan or anyone try to convince me that it isn't the "right" gift ... it's *my* gift ... from the One that knows and loves me the most.

not my first time

monday i went to family home evening down in santa monica with my friends, dave and matt. the evening's activity? a dating forum. (pretty timely considering the topic of this month's ensign. so now when mom asks me if i have read the ensign this month, i can tell her that not only have i read it, but i have attended a dating forum in order to finally be cured of this disease called "being single". see? i *am* putting in an effort. ha.)

in theory, the dating forum was a good idea. i mean, it sounds like a great opportunity to get some answers to some questions that we all have. in practice ... mmeh ... it didn't quite turn out. i feel like the "panel" of girls basically spent an hour complaining about all the things the guys do wrong, and the guys in the audience walked away not only feeling bad for all the things they do wrong, but at an even greater loss for what to do in the future.

and the whole thing really chaps my hide. why do we make this so hard? the part that upset me the most was when the girl panelists appeared sincerely offended when one of the guys joked about recommending that girls ask guys out if they want.

i have spent too much time recently trying to convince my girl friends that if they want to go out with a certain guy, they should ask him out. the usual response ("i've never asked a guy out -- can i do that?") just doesn't fly with me. of *course* you can do that!! who is to tell you that you can't?! i mean, really. when was the last time you had to get someone's permission to do what you want to do? we aren't in third grade anymore. if you wanna go out with him -- ask him.

and that's pretty much how i live my life. i've been asking guys out pretty much since the beginning of time. well, since i was 16. (thanks, for the strength of youth manual.) which is the same thing. right?

anyway, and i actually find that guys will hardly ever turn you down. maybe it's just because they are so flattered or impressed that you asked them out. if that's the case: that's okay by me. and yeah, sometimes it seems kinda hard to get up the courage to ask a guy out, or you totally flub the delivery and make a fool of yourself doing it, but c'mon, you make a fool of yourself everyday. why not at least get a date out of it?

so sunday i met a friend of my friends liz and john. he had served his mission with them in poland, currently lives in sacramento, and was down to visit for the weekend. we chatted for a bit at church before sunday school and he seemed nice. after church and back at home, pat (the lady i live with) asked me who the cute guy was (i think she may be trying even harder than my mother to get me married ... as you will see). after explaining that he lives in sacramento, she asked, "aren't you going to sacramento this weekend?"

"yesss ..."

"well, you should call him. you should call liz. you should call liz and tell her what's going on. she'll be so excited. you should call right now. here's the number and the phone!" she is very eager to get me married. (i wonder if it's because she wants me to move out. hmmm. nah, couldn't be that.)

next thing i knew, i was standing in the living room with the phone to my ear saying, "i can't believe i'm doing this ... but would your friend want to hang out or something this weekend." to which liz's response was, "well, i don't know. he's standing right here -- do you want to ask him?" (a chain of events that was completely unforeseen and for which i was completely unprepared. somehow i didn't even imagine that happening. c'mon, christianna.)

and then i was on the phone with him! *!!* bah!

now, as i said, i have asked guys out before. it's not that big of deal and usually goes just fine. unfortunately, i can't say that it *always* goes just fine. because this one did not go "just fine". after stuttering through a "this is christianna ... from church ... remember me?", i followed up with a stellar, "well, i've got this wedding up in sacramento on friday, and so i was thinking that maybe we could meet up and hang out on saturday."

"umm, yeah. that would be fun." he responded. great!

so far, so good. right?

and then, because i usually have some plan or idea of what to do on a date when i ask the guy out, i started in on the next step of asking a guy out: present the planned activity. yep. only problem: didn't have a plan. and not only that, but didn't realize that i didn't have a plan until after i had started talking again. ugh. so what usually comes out as a fun "so i was thinking we could grab a couple boogie boards and hit the beach" or an interesting "there is this really great restaurant out on the pier that i am dying to try" ... came out as "well, uhh ... uhhh ... uhh ...". not kidding.

after spinning my wheels for a period of time that was probably in actuality about 3.2 seconds long but seemed an eternity to be not talking ... i came out with, "uhh ... well, i don't really know what there is to do there ... so ... maybe i can just get your number and we can both think about it and get back in touch in a couple days?" oh, gosh, christianna. really? did you really do that?

yup.

he was kind and agreed, gave me his digits, and promised that we'd "have a great time". thank you.

so yeah. [sigh]. i survived. completely and totally botched it, but i survived. this was not my first time asking a guy out ... and i kinda wanna say it was the worst time ... but we all know that's not true ... (insert stories of mr. thursday here) ...

anyway, as i said, i make a fool of myself everyday -- i really ought to get a date out of it at least sometimes. right?

not nice

this morning i told a 70-year-old widow that it's all in her head that she gets anxious about going to church events by herself now that her husband is dead.

she was telling me that she doesn't really want to go to tonight's young women's girls' camp fundraiser pasta dinner by herself because "when people go to church events they like to sit with their friends and usually it's two people instead of one."

can't believe i did that.

too used to going to stuff alone, i guess.

quotable 2007

these are quotes i have been collecting this year ... some i've seen on friends' blogs (thanks); others i've just run into. enjoy! if you have one to add, let me know.

• "we do not remember days, we remember moments." -- cesare pavese

• "it's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." -- eleanor roosevelt

• "we don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." -- anais nin

• "he who takes offense when none is intended is a fool, he who takes offense when offense is intended is a bigger fool."-- confucius

• "love is blind (and sometimes deaf and stupid)." -- anon.

charitable donation

i have been donating platelets at the american red cross for about a year now: pretty much since i moved out here. and i love it. now, some of my friends don't understand why i do this. i can go in up to every 2 weeks, but mostly try to make it once a month. it is a bit time consuming (one donation takes about 1½ to 2½ hours), but among the benefits, i count the following:

1. you save a life, or two, or three, or ... -- platelets are needed for cancer patients and other people undergoing a bone marrow transplant, surgery, chemotherapy, radiation treatment or organ transplant. people with type a+ blood are particularly good donors, and can even give 2 or 3 units in one sitting. that's 2 or 3 lives right there. so you can pat yourself on the back for that.

2. it doesn't really cost you that much -- your body starts replenishing platelets pretty much immediately. within 48 hours, your body's platelets should be completely replenished and you'll be totally back to normal, assuming you were "normal" to begin with. so ... what does it hurt?

3. you get to feel needed -- platelets can only be stored for aout 5 days. so that means they need to keep replenishing that supply. and, as it states on the red cross website, "platelet donors have the satisfaction of knowing that their donation will be saving a life within just a few days." you get to feel needed and satisfied.

4. it keeps you healthy -- i know that when i am planning to go in and donate, i kind of watch what i am eating and make sure i get enough liquids and such a little bit more than normal. in order to give platelets, you have to meet the same good health requirements as for donating whole blood. the thing that always gets me is the iron levels ... so i've learned that for the couple of days before i donate, i need to eat a little more red meat (ha! as if i could possibly eat more beef than normal!), or spinach, or raisins ... i've been learning all kinds of things that have iron in them. and i even find that chocolate has some good iron in it, more than i would expect, considering the bad rap chocolate always gets. it has iron! it's healthy, i tell you!

5. you can catch up on movies -- because the donation takes so long, they let you watch a movie while you are there. the following are just some of the movies i have seen while donating:

   the prestige
   transformers
   girl with the pearl earring
   failure to launch
   the aviator
   premonition
   cinderella man
   an unfinished life
   lord of the rings: two towers
   the illusionist
   x-men 3

   it's a perfect opportunity to see the flick you missed in the theater. my red cross is constantly getting new movies. in fact, i think they just joined netflix, so they can keep up with what's newly coming out.

6. you can catch up on cookie-consumption -- you know how when you give blood, you get to go to the "treats table" afterward and munch on some sugary goodness -- and that's when you just donate whole blood, which takes about 20 minutes -- well, imagine how many cookies they will let you eat (and even take some with you) after your 2-hour donation! i suppose i could include herein a list of some of the snacks i have eaten after donating platelets, too, but i think we'd all get a little sick just thinking about all those calories.

   oh! my red cross just got all new kinds of snacks, too!

i just scheduled an appointment for this saturday (yes, partly because of the new snacks) -- and i think all of you should look up the number for your local american red cross and set up an appointment for yourselves. i went twice last month and i am scheduled to go twice again this month. can you keep up?

now, before i wrap up this post, i have a question. i would definitely consider a platelet donation as "charitable." wouldn't you? so ... do you suppose i can get some sort of deduction for that on my taxes this year? just wonderin' ...

---

(to follow-up ... this is what i found at irs.gov. phooey.)

brrring ... brrring ...

so, last night i went out to sushi with the girls. becky excused herself at one point to go to the restroom. and she had a funny story when she got back: as she was just sitting down, she heard from the other stall "so are you watching?" uhh ... what? watching what? watching her? what in the world?! becky tried to think of any and all situations where that would be an appropriate question to ask someone through a bathroom stall door ... and then she heard "yeah, so are we." the woman was on the phone!!

i don't know why people suddenly think it is okay to talk on the phone in the bathroom. like, and i don't mean talking on the phone when in the privacy of the bathroom in your own home and you can strategically use the "mute" button to pretend like you really aren't in the bathroom -- i mean the public restroom: where other people are walking in, washing hands, flushing toilets, etc., and where you just basically have less control over the noises to be transmitted over the air waves.

when i walked into the restroom here at work just a bit ago, there was someone in one of the stalls gabbing away in some other language. sometimes i just wait until the person hangs up, but well, i really had to go just now, so i couldn't even *try* to wait until she was done. i just hope she was able to hang up before i flushed -- i mean, i don't think that is *ever* a sound i want to hear over the phone.

the corporate ladder

last week i was invited by one of my seniors to attend a training on FAS 123R (for all you non-accounting nerds out there, FAS 123R discusses proper treatment of stock-based compensation). and since i am well on my way to 100%-accounting-nerd, i was very interested and maybe even a little excited about this training: it is a subject that we studied pretty in-depth in school, and i am interested to see its "real-life" application.

last winter, i got a brief introductory training about the application of 123R from the manager on one of my clients. i want to know more.

so i signed up for the training and put it on my calendar. i got a follow-up email from the training coordinator asking me to select one of two restaurants for lunch. i was set!

well, today i got a quick email from the "training champion" (why we have to call them the "champion", i still don't understand, but we do: we have a training champion, a recruiting champion, a women-at-gt champion, who knows what else ... whatever) asking me if i knew of any other second-year associates that would be attending the training. i quickly responded that i think i am the only one.

about an hour later, i got an email from my senior asking me to not forward the information and invite to anyone else and not to tell anyone else that i am attending the training. strange. but okay. i don't think i have told anyone else except the training champion and coordinator. after another hour, i got a follow-up email from my senior asking me to not attend the training -- she explained that it was intended to be offered only to seniors and above, and if i were to attend, it should have been offered to all the second-year associates.

disappointment.

disappointment that only an accounting nerd can fully comprehend -- i was being denied the opportunity to revel in 8 hours of training on the 300-page document known as FAS 123R. *gasp!*

i responded to my senior that i understood her request and simply asked her to forward me copies of the training materials so that i could go over them myself.

and then i complained about the whole situation to one of my co-workers. heh. you see, i really didn't understand why i shouldn't be allowed to attend. i mean, i understand that the firm needs to be fair to all the employees ... blah, blah, blah ... but really. this is a subject that i am particularly interested in: i have some experience with it -- probably much more than other second-year associates -- and i would like to have to opportunity to learn more and to improve on my knowledge and skills. i mean, isn't that kind of the point of all this?

my co-worker turned on the lightbulb for me: it's all about competition. as she explained, there are probably not a few people out there that would be quite miffed if i got to attend this training that wasn't even offered to them. they would feel like they are being passed up and that i am receiving special treatment. well, i have a master's degree, too ... was that special treatment? or was it me going after what i wanted? there are many trainings out there that i have no particular interest in. the not-for-profit training that was held in august: no interest whatsoever. but this is something i *am* interested in.

so. with the encouragement from a second co-worker, i just emailed the training champion to ask her to allow me to attend the training. we'll see what she says. i am pretty certain that the answer will be "no," but i am trying. we'll see ...

today

i am just about to finish the third of dean koontz' odd thomas series and i am as pleased with this one as the other two. the third book is called brother odd and takes place at a monastery deep in the california sierras during a fierce winter storm.

the title character made the following observation early in the story:

when we hope, we usually hope for the wrong thing.we yearn for tomorrow and the progress that it represents. but yesterday was once tomorrow, and where was the progress in it?

or we yearn for yesterday, for what was or what might have been. but as we are yearning, the present is becoming the past, so the past is nothing but our yearning for second chances. ...

as long as i remain subject to the river of time, which will be as long as i may live, there is no way back ... to anything.

i tend to agree with this description -- we lose too many "todays" either looking forward or looking back. i am particularly guilty of this: i make plans and goals and constantly think about where i am going and what is coming next, rather than fully enjoy what i am doing along the way. sure, looking back i have many fond memories, but i definitely recall feelings of impatience in most every one. and that impatience remains my constant companion.

president monson once gave a talk in general conference with a similar theme entitled in search of treasure, in which he stated that "sometimes we let our thoughts of tomorrow take up too much of today. daydreaming of the past and longing for the future may provide comfort but will not take the place of living in the present. this is the day of our opportunity, and we must grasp it." there are so many good things to do *today*.

i heard a striking comercial on the radio the other day. the narrator went through a list of questions such as the following, "remember that one time you almost volunteered at the food bank? remember the day that you almost donated blood? and the time you almost visited a sick friend at the nursing home? ..." my dad used to tell me that "almost" only counts in horseshoes, grenades, and kissing.

president monson noted in the same conference talk that "there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today, and to live most fully today, we must do that which is of greatest importance. let us not procrastinate those things which matter most."

what are the things that matter most? and why am i not doing those? elder neal a. maxwell once commented that we may be filling our lives with so many good things that we don't have time for the most important things. we need to have priorities -- and allow those priorities to guide our daily decisions, guide our daily actions. so that we may accomplish "those things which matter most," as president monson counsels. and accomplish them *today*.