didn't jump this time

yesterday was a crazy day. down to anaheim in the early a.m. for a work bowling "meeting" -- why we couldn't bowl somewhere a bit more central, i don't know. traffic wasn't really as bad as it could have been, but it took me about an hour and a half to get down there. ugh.

after bowling (which was a miserable performance on my part, by the way), i went out to san dimas. yes, the home town of both bill & ted. i thought i hadn't been out there before, but once i started navigating the area, i realized that i had a client out there a couple months ago. anyway ...

so i met up with a friend and we met up with one of his friends ... and then the three of us took off. :) literally. his friend just got his pilot's license and took us up in this little cessna. so fun. even though i didn't jump out with a man strapped to my back this time. :P

we flew from san dimas to el monte, had a late lunch, then back to san dimas. not too far, but a more interesting way to make the commute. :D

the stash

sadness.

after much thought and pondering, i think i will have to do away with the hoard of chocolate in my purse. this may come as a shock to a few of you -- especially those of my co-workers that have grown accustomed to raiding my purse for a mid-afternoon chocolate fix -- but i really believe it is for the best.

chocolate melts in this hot l.a. summer sun.

i have had to clean the contents of my purse too many times already this summer. and it's not even july yet.

teardrops on my guitar - taylor swift

drew looks at me, i fake a smile so he won't see
that i want and i'm needing everything that we should be
i'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
and she's got everything that i have to live without

drew talks to me, i laugh cause it's just so funny
that i can't even see anyone when he's with me
he says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
i wonder if he knows he's all i think about at night

[chorus:]
he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
he's the song in the car i keep singing, don't know why i do

drew walks by me, can he tell that i can't breathe?
and there he goes, so perfectly,
the kind of flawless i wish i could be
she'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause

[chorus:]
he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
he's the song in the car i keep singing, don't know why i do

so i drive home alone, as i turn out the light
i'll put his picture down and maybe
get some sleep tonight

[chorus:]
he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
he's the song in the car i keep singing, don't know why i do

he's the time taken up, but there's never enough
and he's all that i need to fall into ...

drew looks at me, i fake a smile so he won't see.

what do i want?

i read something interesting this morning that has made me think a lot. it was the story of a woman who found exactly what she wanted, what fit her perfectly, and the description of that long and difficult journey.

so with all the thinking that was inspired, i've been questioning what it is exactly that i want. i threw out my "list" years ago. my stake president counseled that we should look for two things: (1) a man/woman of God, and (2) someone that can be your best friend. so i crossed everything else off.

because, like the author of the story i read, i want to find the person that fits me. and within these two characteristics lies what i really want.

i also want to be the perfect fit for him.

my brother made a comment to me a couple months ago. he got engaged to a really great girl in 2005, but the engagement was soon called off and he had a difficult time understanding how he could love someone so much and yet it wasn't right, it wasn't the right fit. his good friend said something that only a good friend can get away with saying, "she was perfect for you, but you weren't perfect for her."

at the time that my brother shared this with me, i was conflicted. i have a very good friend that i care for very much and want very much for him to be happy. we dated for a little while when we first met, and then we stopped dating and were just friends -- he was interested in someone else -- we became good friends.

dealing with the ups and downs of life, our relationship was constantly being redefined, but he never felt for me the way he felt for this other person. he always wanted her. i knew that. and no matter how much i thought he was perfect for me, i wasn't perfect for him.

and that's okay.

i still love and respect him very much and pray for him and the girl he loves. they make each other happy, which gives me hope because *that* is something that i want to find someday.

just as i don't want to settle, i don't want to make another settle for less than delirious happiness with a best friend who is a man/woman of God.

i should really stop giving my number out

airplane old man called again today.

like, seriously, we had an alright conversation for the flight up to salt lake at the beginning of the month. but the conversation definitely died as soon as the plane landed. so i thought i had made it. until then he walked with me all the way to baggage claim. still okay ...

i actually really didn't think he would even try. he's probably about 15 years older than me (at least) and he kept making comments about the kind of guy that i should be looking for -- and he also offered several times to keep an eye out for such a one. i think i am kinda dense.

at the baggage claim, i said, "well, i hope you have a good time while you are up here. be good in class."
he said, "yeah, enjoy your stay, too. and the wedding."
...
then he supplemented: "hey, do you have a phone number?"

!! dangit !! almost made it ...

and, of course, then i gave it to him -- not *entirely* sure why i continually do that, other than that i don't think they will really call.

anyway.

he called twice while i was in utah -- we chatted for maybe 8 minutes the second time he called. that was 3 weeks ago. he just called again today. he must be back in town. i didn't answer. how awful am i? he didn't leave a message. i'm probably not gonna call him back. is that bad?

oh -- and of course, i actually *just barely* did it again -- gave my number out again. gosh. i think i have a problem. do they have a support group for people like me? oh, my goodness.

you have to choose happiness

i have been reading a great book: the second in the odd thomas series by dean koontz. i read odd thomas last year -- loved it -- though, it took me over 3 months to finish because i don't have much time for reading ... i just checked out the second book, forever odd, last week and i am already digging into it.

these are the autobiographical story of a fictional young man who can see dead people -- much like unto the little boy in sixth sense. but the dead people in these books know they are dead: they are the lingering dead. they haven't moved on to the next life either for fear of it, or because they have some unfinished business in this life. quite often they desire to help uncover the causes of their deaths, though there are also those like elvis presley who stick around for some unknown yet intriguing reason.

last night i read a passage about happiness in forever odd that i really liked. so, here you go:

"i'm happy," i assured him.
for a block or so, he didn't say anything. then: "you're at peace, son. there's a big difference."
"which would be what?"
"if you're still, and if you don't hope too much, peace will come to you. it's a grace. but you have to choose happiness."
"it's that easy, is it? just choose?"
"making the decision to choose isn't always easy."
i said, "this sounds like you've been thinking too much."
"we sometimes take refuge in misery, a strange kind of comfort."
although he paused, i said nothing.
he continued: "but no matter what happens in life, happiness is there for us, waiting to be embraced."
"sir, did this come to you after three bottles of negra modelo, or was it four?"
"it must have been three. i never drink as many as four."

for some reason this really touched me. made me think alot about whether i am happy or simply at peace ...

(the third book in the series is brother odd. i'll be reading that as soon as i finish this one. i highly recommend the series. i actually kinda wish they'd make a movie out of it. the character is just so captivating.)

an expensive hobby

so yesterday i got to my harp lesson about 15 minutes late -- which is, sadly, kinda the norm -- said my hellos, sat down at the harp and realized ... it was a different harp! well, my teacher has been renting this one out to one of her other students and that student just recently purchased her own harp ... so ... she returned this one to my teacher. it is *beautiful* (pictured at right).

okay. i have been renting a harp that has so far suited my needs just fine (pictured at left, only mine is natural wood, not ebony). it isn't by any means the harp that i want to play forever -- it's a small lever harp -- but it has good string tension (very similar to a pedal harp) and okay sound. i thought.

my harp sounds *nowhere near* as good as my teacher's!

my teacher offered to let me rent this one from her. i would *love* to!! the only problem is ... her harp costs more than twice as much to rent -- actually it's 150% more -- yes, i'm an accountant. and i really need to be saving money because i want to be able to purchase a condo/house/home-of-some-sort sometime soon ...

i was telling my (wise but sometimes annoyingly realistic) sister about it and she quoted for me, "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without". then i *really* felt guilty for wanting a new harp ...

especially because what i love about the new harp will not make a lick of difference in my learning and playing. not at this point in the game. i need a harp that i can practice on. the one i have will suffice.

but this one is so preeeettttyyyy! well, yes. but who is gonna see it? i don't play well enough to start booking gigs ... ha! ... so ... i can stick with my little one for now, right?

i *can* dream though ... and so i recently "went shopping" for harps online again. these are some of my favourites, in addition to the one above:

okay, so here's the kicker: the cheapest of these harps is $20k. a good one will cost anywhere from $15k to $35k or more. and especially more if you want one with gold gilding. yikes! so yeah -- think i'm gonna have to wait for "someday" to get mine ... unfortunately ...

cute guy told me i should play the guitar instead. it's cheaper. :P

of course, he also suggested i make a splash in the music world with the electric harp ... check it out! this one is "metallic green". can't you just picture me jamming out on it? playing mary had a little lamb or ode to joy to a sold-out crowd?

ah ha ha ha ha ... !

so i got my score back on my last cpa test. i was just *hoping* to pass -- a score of 75 or higher passes -- but i expected that it would definitely take a very undeserved miracle for me to pass.

welp ... i was right. it would have taken a miracle.

i got a 45!! ha ha! like, that's not even in the ballpark! seriously. *sooo* funny. definitely the good laugh i was needing. *sigh.*

so ... i'll be studying for that one again so i can re-take it next month. i really just want to be done with this whole thing! :P

cardinal rules

i have recently broken 2 of my own cardinal rules (no, not the chocolate rules):

1. don't let anyone get so close that it will hurt to tell them goodbye.
2. don't cry.

last night i spoke to seattle boy for the last time in what i think will be a very long time, if ever again. i'm not okay.

cardinal rule, the first:

when i was growing up, my family moved around a lot. it was hard. but i learned a trick: if you don't get close to people, it's easier when it's time to leave. i very distinctly remember being a very sad little 4th-grader that decided it wasn't worth the hurt. i have continued that tradition in my own "grown-up" life as i have moved around generally every 4 to 8 months for the last 7 years. i've made friends, sure -- very dear ones -- but i kept control of how invested i became in the friendship, to be ready for the next move.

i moved to los angeles after graduating from byu, ready to start a new career and new life. i planned to be here for at least 2 years. well, at least 1 year, but 2 years being the "should be". i've actually battled the gotta-move bug at least twice since i got here 10 months ago. i've met some wonderful people and made some very good friends. i've learned a lot. i think i forgot that i'm not always the one that leaves -- sometimes i have to say goodbye because the other person leaves.

cardinal rule, the second:

what's the point of crying? it doesn't accomplish anything. i think it actually cripples us from accomplishing exactly what we need to in a given situation. plus, your face gets all red, you can't speak properly, people feel bad for you, your nose starts running ... i haven't really cried for about 5 years. until last night.

ever a missionary

i got an email from a friend in brasil the other day. last friday. completely out of the blue. he was a member that lived in my second area (i was there june-2003 to october-2003). he was great to work with, served in the Temple, always willing to help us out in the missionary work, etc. a really amazing guy.

so he sent me a quick email on friday just saying hi and that he had been looking online to find the missionaries that taught and baptized him and he ended up finding me! he thought that i probably wouldn't remember who he was, but he just wanted to say hi.

i was so happy to get his email! of course i remembered him. i remember (and miss) so many people down there! i wrote him back right away and just kinda gave a quick update about what i was doing and asked what he was up to and how the ward and everything was down there.

i got his response email yesterday. kinda made me sad to find out that he stopped going to church about 2 years ago. there was some misunderstanding and some hurt feelings so he stopped going. he didn't give me lots of details, but yeah.

i hate to learn that people stop going to church because of the actions of other people! i mean, c'mon!! going to Church has nothing to do with that!! we go to Church because we love the Lord and we've made a commitment to Him.

my friend ended his second email saying that if i decided that i don't want to talk to him anymore that he will understand and he won't be mad at me and he will continue to pray for me. i'm not gonna stop talking to him because of this. if anything, it is motivation for me to talk to him and talk through this with him. but he also *has* to recognize that everything i can and will say to him is stuff he already knows -- i'm not going to be revealing some hidden truth or anything. and he has to expect that i'm not going to just let this lie.

it's interesting to me that my mission still continues. it was such a blessing in my life and continues to provide me opportunities to serve and love. i have kept in contact with a few people down there. but i've lost contact with many of the people i love down there. my mission also gives me so many opportunities to talk about the Church and my beliefs with new people that i meet here. i love that.

on the road again

i caved. i'm going down to huntington beach tomorrow night. i keep saying that i don't want to be the only one driving -- he's come up here once. once. and i've been down there ... well, i already calculated the miles and hours i've spent driving down there. anyway, yeah. but i'm going down there again tomorrow night. maybe i shouldn't?

seattle boy says that i need to think about what his actions are saying about him. what do they *mean*? well ... i think they mean he doesn't like driving. but cute guy has already said that. now, i don't *love* driving, but i don't mind it. i actually kind of enjoy the time to just think and listen to music or whatever.

i bought the scriptures on cd a couple years ago when i was teaching accounting at the satellite campus of my university, which was about a 45-minute drive away. i actually ended up not listening to them on that drive because i got a carpool thing going. but, i just found them again, so maybe i should stick them in my car again ... hmmm ... anyway: tangent!

so yeah. things with cute guy have kinda cooled off recently. i think. i dunno. i've had a really weird emotional week. and i say "weird emotional" because i am not generally a very emotional person -- pretty even-keeled, actually -- so anything "emotional" is weird by default. but i've been thinking a lot -- a handful of things going on. so, conversations with cute guy have been different lately. i don't know the reason -- if it's because of all that's going on in my life, what's going on in his life (he's had some stressful work-stuff recently), or if things are winding to a close. maybe the sun is setting on this spring fling ... ? (ha! do you love the imagery?)

i have to admit that one of the things i have been thinking about is not seeing cute guy anymore. (i think i mentioned that in my last post about him.) which can definitely affect the conversation dynamic -- the whole relationship dynamic. i really like the kid. i think he's fun, i am attracted to him, i enjoy talking to him, i enjoy kissing him ... i don't think i'll marry him. there are some fundamental differences of opinion/lifestyle that preclude a serious future. unless one or both of us changes, and it's not good to go into a relationship wanting to change the other person.

we've talked this week i think everyday; that's kinda the norm. but conversations have been shorter -- only about an hour instead of the 2 or 3 that it's been.

oh -- last night: the funniest thing! so i was really tired when talking to him, and tiredness brings on randomness from me.

so i was laying on the couch in the living room and asked, "so, what are your ceilings like?" -- i was staring at my ceilings, so it wasn't entirely random.
he asked me to repeat: "what are your ceilings like?"
he paused. kinda quiet.
i admit, that's a strange question. so i tried to help with the words, if he was searching for words, "are they popcorn, textured, smooth ... ?"
he was still a little quiet, and then, "oh! ceilings? did you say 'ceilings'?"
i said, "yeah ..."
he started laughing. "i thought you said 'feelings'!! i thought i'd have to make up some excuse to get off the phone! ha ha ha ..."

great -- i scare the kid that we're gonna have a "relationship talk". ha ha. that was funny.

maybe i should have let him just go with it ... coulda learned something.

anyway, not sure how things are gonna be tomorrow night. not sure what we are gonna be doing, actually. maybe i should get online and see what kind of stuff we could do down there this weekend. instead of the standard dinner and a movie.

spoons

i don't really like spoons.

when people learn this about me, i usually get quite a few strange, questioning looks. it's like they haven't even considered that it's possible to not like spoons. "who doesn't like spoons!?"

i have a couple reasons.

firstly, spoons are ugly. i mean, seriously. they are just ugly. with all the roundness at the end of a long handle. c'mon. there is one spoon i have found that i am okay with -- data style from ikea (pictured at right) -- and i already bought a dinner set of the silverware for when i finally get out of this living-in-someone-else's-house life.

secondly, spoons aren't as useful as, say, forks. now, a fork is *very* useful: it can stab, poke, lift, hold, secure, fork, jab, cut ... very useful. a spoon can, well, spoon ... and scoop -- i'll give you scoop.

you'll note that the fork in the picture is also quite attractive. so is the knife ... i really like this set of silverware! maybe i should go buy some more ... hmm ...

future-husband? umm, no thank you...

i've only been on one date with the kid. he can't really be "future-husband," can he?

well, and i don't want him to be, either.

so the set-up that my 70-year-old roommate was so eager about just isn't gonna go anywhere. i've officially decided that. i don't want to be mean, but quite honestly, the kid kinda drives me nuts.

we went out about 2 months ago. it was fine. it was fun. (well, aside from the whole falling-asleep-on-a-first-date thing, but yeah. see previous blog for a refresher on this. :P) we talked a few times that next week. i called one day to ask him out, but only got his voicemail, so i just left him a message and he didn't get back to me until i had already made other plans, so we didn't go out. since then, he got super busy at work, i took 2 cpa tests, he went on a couple business trips, i went home to visit for a few days ...

we played a bit of phone tag. talked a few times. it was all getting kind of annoying. he didn't ever ask me out. i didn't have to turn him down.

well, he called me 2½ weeks ago on a sunday evening just to say hi. i was on the phone with cute guy at the time, so of course i didn't answer. he left a message. i didn't really want to talk to him, so i didn't call him back right away. and then i completely spaced calling him back all week (it was a busy week: i had my last cpa test, my sister and her husband came back from cambodia, and i was going out of town). so that friday, i was at the airport waiting for my flight and looking through my phone -- i saw again that he had called. well, i was on my way out of town for a vacation and didn't want to talk to him. so i didn't call.

then it was sunday evening again -- it had been a whole week since he called -- so he called again to say hi. i was playing board games with my parents, so i didn't answer. he left another message. i didn't call him back -- i was spending time with family.

he called again that wednesday this week and left another message "just to see how things are going." i had a friend over for dinner, so i didn't answer. but i was starting to feel bad.

i mean, seriously, how many times does a guy call before he just waits for a girl to return his call? i wasn't intentionally trying to blow him off. i would actually really like to tell him that i'm not interested in going out with him anymore. but i kinda feel like if he isn't going to ask me out, then who am i to assume that he even wants to go out with me. maybe he just likes calling me and leaving messages ... ??

anyway, i did finally call him back on thursday evening. we talked for about 20 minutes. and when i say we "talked," i really mean, "i had a conversation and he just listened." that's kinda how it is to have conversations with some people. hey! -- it's okay. some people just aren't conversationalists ... and i don't have to date those people. so yeah.

he didn't ask me out when we were talking -- and i even opened up the floor for him to do so if he wanted to -- i asked what he was doing this weekend, i told him what i was doing, and even mentioned that i didn't really have plans for a couple of the evenings. but he didn't jump on it.

the only question now is if i need to make an issue of it and say something to him before he tries calling and not asking me out again ... :S

losing a friend

so i found out why seattle boy hasn't been talking to me very much recently.

well, this has been an interesting week/weekend for me. my sister shared some kinda hard news with me, which threw me into a lot of self-analysis and just trying to figure things out. been thinking a lot about things ... cute guy, being one of them. and also wondering if it is time to move again and start afresh again. i got my car registration renewal notice in the mail -- which means that i have almost been here for a year now! wow. funny how sometimes something just kinda shakes you to analyze everything in your life ... all the where-am-i-going, what-am-i-doing, and why questions ...

anyway, so i briefly brought that up in an email to seattle boy, but told him i didn't really want to discuss it via email. he said we could talk about it sometime, then.

so he called me on friday night. that was nice. i wanted him to call, but really didn't think he would. he has been pretty incommunicado recently. i figured it was partly the being busy at work, but i also thought it had something to do with seattle girl. so yeah. after he called and asked what was going on with me and we talked a lot about it all -- he really is a good friend -- i asked him about how he was, said it had been a long time since we'd talked.

he apologized for that; and then he explained. evidently seattle girl doesn't like him talking to me. it bothers her that he is even still friends with me since we dated and stuff. she knew that he and i would talk and hang out some for a while. but he said that he hasn't told her that he still talks to me at all now. (now, *i* think there's something wrong with that. i mean, why hide it?) i don't think there is anything wrong with him talking to me. we are friends.

i was surprised when he told me that. because i really didn't (and don't) see anything wrong with us being friends and talking on the phone. there's never anything inappropriate about our conversations. we talk about what's going on in life for both of us -- we talk about cute guy, about seattle girl, about his house-buying adventures, about my boring work, about his getting deployed to active duty, about my failing my cpa test ...

because she doesn't like it and he wants her to be happy, he decided that it's better for us to not talk. i respect that.

he told me that i am the only girl that he even talks to at all.

made me kinda sad for him.

and now he won't talk to me either. i'm losing a good friend.

too much time in huntington beach

in the last month, i have put 840 miles on my car and spent 18 hours driving to and from the huntington beach area. to see a cute guy. yeah.

i went to a lds mid-singles conference in huntington beach back in april. (mid-singles are the ones too old for the singles ward, but too young to spend their nights hanging out with the widows in the family ward ... ages 27 to 42.) the conference was so much fun! there were over 1,000 people there. so many fun things to do and great people to meet. it was awesome. i roomed with a couple girls from atlanta -- way fun.

one of the first people i met there was cute guy.

it was funny, at first i wasn't super attracted to him or interested in him, but we kept running into each other throughout the conference and we'd stop and talk for a while. we actually talked quite a bit. he was easy to talk to and fun to be with. and he was cute. ... :)

so yeah. the conference ended on sunday and we "exchanged cards". -- ha! always wanted to say that ... but, we really did. anyway, and so then that was that.

the following few days i found myself wanting to talk to him. but i wasn't sure if i should just call him. see? -- normally, i really don't mind being the cad that makes the first move. because, well, i know that we all know that making the first move can be scary or whatever, but i also know that when people go out with me, they have a good time ... so ... i usually just ask the boy out and then we go out and have fun and then he can take it from there. but, on wednesday after the conference, i was talking to a friend of mine about the conference and mentioned that i was planning to call cute guy and her reaction was a quick "no, wait for him to call". so then, because we were at a relief society pot-luck dinner thing, we ended up opening the issue up for discussion. some sisters said i should call, others said he needs to, others said just wait a bit ... so finally, the negotiated conclusion was that i should give it one more day. if he calls, great. if not, i can call him. okay!

so i went home from the r.s. dinner thing and turned on the tube. and promptly fell asleep! when i woke up sometime in the middle of the night, i looked at my phone and saw that *he had called!* !! *and i missed it!* grrr!

so i called him back the next night. we talked for probably about an hour. just about all kinds of random things. we talked again a couple days later. i think that one was about 3 hours, actually. and again the next wednesday. then on saturday. then sunday ...

and, like seriously, since then we have been talking just about everyday for at least an hour, usually more -- one night it was more than 6 hours! yeah. obviously i like talking to the kid. :P

we went out about two weeks after the singles conference. it was so last minute. my younger sister and her husband were in town for a couple days before going on a trip back to her husband's mission in cambodia. i called cute guy in the afternoon on the monday and just asked him if he wanted to come up that evening. he was kinda quiet and hemming and hawing a bit -- i got a bit nervous and wondered if i had crossed some unseen line -- but then he was just like, "well, i am just trying to figure out what time i would need to leave here." :) so we talked about that. and then he was like, "oh, but aren't your sister and her husband in town? don't you want to hang out with them?" and i responded that, yes, i did, but they would be here for a couple days so it didn't matter that much. and he said, "well, we could just all go out to dinner together ..." so we did! it was kinda awkward: our first date was a double with my recently-married sister and her husband. ... hmmm.

we survived the awkward dinner, went back to my house to watch a movie, then my sister and her husband left. and we made out.

since then, i've been doing the driving down to huntington beach. it's easier to be able to hang out down there and spend time at his house. because, honestly, as much as i love my 70-year-old roommate, i don't really always feel that comfortable having people over to visit my grandma-house. :S

we make out a lot. i sometimes wonder if we have anything else in common. i mean, i realize that i am not exactly being very fair in making this comment, but i do wonder. especially because conversation seems kinda forced whenever we are hanging out in person. we are able to talk for hours on the phone, but when we are together, it's kinda awkward. like last night, for example: awkward.

hmmm.

skydiving -- woo!

so i was sitting at my desk a few weeks ago, minding my own business, of course, and my co-worker piped up over the cube wall, "hey! do you want to go skydiving next weekend?" ... i thought about it for about 27 seconds ... "sure!!"

then we recruited one of the guys we work with, called the place, and were set to go on may 19!

the friday before we went, the tax partner here at the office wished us all luck and said she would break the news to the audit partners on monday when none of us show up for work ...

the place was skydive taft in taft, ca -- about 25 miles outside of bakersfield. very cool. the guys there were fun and, yeah, crazy. which just made it so much better

there were only two jump masters there that day, so i let my co-workers go first: kind of me, huh? actually, i defaulted to being the odd man out because it took me so long to read through the super intense liability waiver form. plus, my name is longer than both of theirs, so it totally takes me longer to sign things.

so erica and james got geared up and climbed onto the mid-sized white plane with about 20 other jumpers. how exciting! i stayed on the ground, waiting for my turn and trying to not psych myself out too much about it.

i mean, yeah. perhaps erica's dad described it best when he asked, "why would you jump from a perfectly safe airplane when you know it is going to land safely?" well, for the thrill of it!

when i told my mom that i was going, she told me not to tell her until after i had already done it. :P i called her when i landed safely.

it was so much fun to see erica and james coming in for their landing -- which they both completely biffed! erica landed with her legs bent back behind her and her jump master basically sitting on her. james completely face-planted when (i think) he tried to do a standing-up landing instead of a sitting. still not sure how he did it ...

after they jumped, i got to put on my jumpsuit and gear. that harness hurts!! but it has to be that tight, i guess. better too tight than too loose, i'd say. and then we start walking out onto the tarmac and i notice that the bigger white plane isn't what we are headed for: i get to jump from a little cessna! even *better*!!

whereas erica and james got to jump from a large door from the side of the plane, i got to climb out onto the little running board over the wheel, perch there long enough to get positioned to jump, and then ... *jump*! wahoo!

wow. it was the most thrilling experience! doesn't really feel like you're falling so much as floating. well, with a *lot* of wind! very cool.

i jumped from an altitude of about 12,000 feet (it took *forever* to climb to that altitude in that tiny plane). we free fall for about 7,000 feet. then we open the canopy and float down to the ground. did a few tricks. i can't even describe the feeling other than to say it was *awesome*.

oh -- my landing was perfect, by the way. no falling. no face plants. no getting scraped up. not even any getting dirty. :P

it was a great day. after the jump, we were all starved. went and got some good mexican. then went back to erica's house to hang out. i was worn out!! so ... james was kind enough to give me a lovely foot tattoo after i lost consciousness. don't you like it?!!

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