26 May 2008

namreh eew-eep

as previously noted, i am terrified of falling down stairs and breaking my teeth. just one of my many quirks. that you love. yes, you love them. yep. but i will admit that my tooth-breaking neurosis is not limited solely to falling down stairs. i am actually pretty nervous about most things that could (even in the most remote possibility) result in teeth breakage.

when i was little, the great american hero rescued me when i broke my front tooth on the playground at the elementary school. before that horrifying event, i had already knocked out one of my teeth in a scandalous skateboard accident that i can relate to you in detail some other time ... probably some time when you really are absolutely and completely bored out of your mind since i am not sure that the tooth-related adventures of a 7-year-old can really be classified as prime-time entertainment.

*any*way ...

so, perhaps because of these traumatic experiences in my formative years -- or perhaps not -- i have a thing about my teeth. and it has held me back from all kinds of things over the years, not the least of which is that i have still never been skiing -- even after all those years living in idaho, utah, and even new york. of course, until today i haven't explicitly admitted that this quirky fear is the reason that i have turned down multiple invitations over the years. so if you are one of the people whose heart i have broken because of my refusal to snowboard or mud wrestle or play frisbee, i apologize and i hope that you now understand a little bit better and stop blaming yourself.

another activity i have avoided since taking my school to state with the 5th-grade spelling bee is riding a bicycle. i think the last bicycle i owned was when i was quite literally half my current size. *that* was a long time ago. and i think i have ridden a bicycle only once since then. when i was at byu, a guy once asked me out to go for a bike ride on a big group date. at the time, i kinda thought that i had spent enough years crippled behind my fear, so i accepted the invitation. i got really nervous, though, the day before the date when my date had me sit on the bike to size it for me. facing your fears is tough! and the day of the date was even worse.

now, i am not afraid of many things (matti, stop laughing), but the things i am afraid of really get to me. and riding bicycles is one of them.

i have to admit that the bike date really wasn't that bad. but i will say 2 things:

  1. i spent the hour-and-a-half ride at the back of the group just trying to keep up and to not run over any of the myriad of small little twiggy things that might potentially send me head first over my handlebars to land in a glorious faceplant on the asphalt with each of my beautiful 32 teeth spread out around me in a sunburst motif. i was successful: i didn't once fall off my bicycle.

  2. my date spent the hour-and-a-half ride leading the pack.

needless to say, we didn't go on any dates after that one.

and as much as i would like to say that i conquered some fear by having a somewhat uneventful -- perhaps even "successful" -- bicycle experience, i didn't: i still stay away from that two-wheeled contraption as much as is possible.

i commented recently concerning my reservations about riding bicycles and my sister remarked that i am like pee-wee herman, but backwards. which would make me "namreh eew-eep", i guess. but i don't think i really understand why ...

at any rate ... so i avoid certain activities in life such as bicycle riding and skiing because of a silly fear. so what? y'know, i actually kinda think it's okay. i mean, i may miss out on some things like chomping ice and professional boxing; i may have to take certain precautions in order to participate in other fun activities like volleyball or stair-climbing ... but i get to fill my life with other interesting activities that don't endanger my teeth. things like, umm, eating beef (though, not doing much of that lately) ... umm, swimming (yeah, that's relatively tooth-safe), skydiving (and thereby decidedly throwing all caution to the wind) ... umm ... hmm ...there's other stuff. really, there is.


Jared said...

If I promise not to read it during prime time, will you post the story of the scandalous skate board accident?


Matti Kaye said...

what makes you think i would laugh that you are not afraid of many things?

had you, however, said that you were normal in any way, shape or form, that i would argue.

christianna said...

i am normal.

and, yes, anonymous jared, i will post the scandalous skateboard story. don't expect too much, though.

missy. said...

so i guess this is one more thing we have in common. when i was 8, one of my front teeth got knocked out in a tragic trampoline accident. then, when i was 12, the other front tooth got knocked out in a tragic foos-ball accident.

yes, you read that right. i so wish i was kidding.

i don't share your current neuroses though...i like all the activities you mentioned avoiding.

also, have you been skydiving already? when i went (on my honeymoon), my teeth were the last thing on my mind :)

christianna said...

i'd love to hear your tooth stories, missy. really.

but yeah. i went skydiving last march -- oh, wait -- it was a year ago, i guess. so much fun! and yeah, my teeth weren't really at the forefront of my mind then, either. oh, i wanna go again. i heard that there is this place out here that you can skydive over the ocean or something. *that* would be an awesome view, huh?

missy. said...

that's what we did, we skydived over the ocean in hawaii! it was really amazing. also i thought i was going to die :)

one day when i'm feeling courageous i'll tell you the tooth stories...