the following was sent to me as an excerpt from an article entitled, "seven deadly dating sins". this is kinda the consensus of *lots* of advice i have recently received. i definitely have an opinion about this subject, but i'd like to hear your comments (and feel free to leave anonymous comments, if you want).
"Never keep your ex in your phone or on your buddy list. After you drop his toothbrush in the toilet—oops!—the first thing you should do after a nasty breakup is to get him off your radar. Completely. That means removing his number from your cell phone, getting him off any speed dials, and bumping him off your buddy lists online. Why this draconian purging? If the relationship and breakup were intense and emotional, it can be hard to wash him out of your hair. For many people, getting rid of all contact info is an important part of healing and finally being able to move on. And if you still have feelings for your ex—good or bad—having that number or buddy user name available at the press of a button makes it all too easy to put off the healing that needs to be done with a call or message."
share your thoughts. i'd like to know. thanks!
:D
4 comments:
Hmmm. I think it is entirely situational. I will say that I am a fan of no contact for a month or two or whatever is required to be well on the path of "moved on" but I wouldn't go so far as to say delete them entirely from your cell phone, buddy lists, or life. There has only been one time in my life when I did that - after he broke off our engagement 6 days before the wedding. All the others I've been able to have friendships with them after a while and was glad that I still had their numbers, emails, etc.
Do IT!!! Harsh, I know. Not saying it's easy, but it will be for the best. You definitely aren't getting anywhere by still having these people on your list.
And it's not like you won't remember their phone number later or have it written down somewhere for when you have really given it time to heal or whatever. (Don't ask me how long that takes)
If you still talk to them and do things with them, but still have feelings for them it just isn't going to work to be able to find the really and truly one that is for you.
I totally agree with that last comment. You've got to cut it off so you can heal and get over it. Until ALL feelings are gone and you have moved on. Letting yourself have contact makes it too easy to forget all the good reasons why the relationship ended before. And it's too easy to let yourself fall in love with someone for whom you already felt that way.
thanks for your comments.
hmmm ... this wasn't really quite what i was asking. and maybe i should have been more clear. i guess i'm just more interested in the philosophical nature of the quote, the cutting someone completely out of your life because the "relationship" is over ... more than its direct application to me and my life.
i think i'll post something more about this and my opinions. but that will have to wait until a weekend.
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