stars, diamonds, and shower curtains

how do you rate a hotel?

the star classification system is a common one for rating hotels. higher star ratings indicate more luxury. the aaa and their affiliated bodies use diamonds instead of stars to express hotel and restaurant ratings levels.

but what criteria do they use to rate hotels? room size? friendliness of the concierge? size of the flat screen? luxury of the sheets?

me? i use shower curtains.

more specifically, shower curtain rods.

a good hotel has a round shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

the rounder the better.

i mean, look at this:

i'm definitely gonna have round shower curtain rods in my bathrooms when i grow up. and all my house guests will herald the luxury, opulence, splendor, and bliss that it is to visit me.

they will.

paranoia

sometimes i have this recurring, somewhat totally unfounded panic: that my car is being stolen at that very moment.

now, i have never had a car get stolen. i always make sure to lock the doors and set the car alarm, which not only makes an incredibly annoying sound (especially when i accidentally set it off in the middle of the night -- an all too frequent occurrence), but it disables the ignition if not deactivated properly. i live in a pretty safe neighborhood (despite the drug dealers we got arrested middle of last year because they set up shop out in front of the house -- ssshh, don't tell my mom).

but really, this stolen car panic hits me out of the blue too frequently.

and usually, i run through a pretty consistent train of thought:

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

"anything valuable in there?"

"the glove box?"

"sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat??"

that's the point when i realize how ridiculously paranoid i am being. and i try to force myself to forget about it and not rush out to check.

of course, i am always quite happily relieved to walk out (run?) to the car when it's time to leave and see little reggie sitting and waiting for me. he's such a good boy.

today was one such panic.

i arrived at stake conference about 17 minutes late, found a great parking space, and hurried in, all the while attempting to text guilt trip one of my friends into coming to stake conference, to no avail. oh, well.

i found a seat next to a cute couple in my ward and settled in to listen to the talks when the panic started.

so ... here we go ...

"did i lock the doors?"

"i think i remember clicking the button ... and i think i remember hearing the alarm set."

"yeah, pretty sure i saw the headlights turn on."

"okay."

"well, but wait -- do i have anything valuable in there anyway?"

"computer's at the house ..."

"do i have any client files in there?"

"no, i think i took all those to the office."

"okay."

"okay."

"..."

"what about in my trunk?"

and that's when i remembered that i already catalogued the trunk. [*sigh* *of* *relief*!]

now, if anyone actually does steal my car, i already know what to claim on my insurance!

wait -- does insurance cover trunk contents? hmm.

well ... if not, i guess i have a shopping list for replacing all that stuff myself!

my eyes, my eyes!

there are two things i put on my face with a cotton ball:

eye makeup remover	and	toner

i mixed those up this morning.

ouch.

always prepared

wondering what to put in your trunk? well, as i disassemble mine in this pictorial essay, take note. have you forgotten any of this?

fuzzy jacket, pillow, and blanket -- it's a cold, cold world.

72-hour kit, toilet paper in a zip-loc, an empty grocery sack, and *2* first aid kits -- you never know what could happen on the 405.

tire pressure gauge and tire inflator -- first you check your tire pressure, then you inflate the tire. in that order.

a beach ball, a frisbee, a towel, a tank top and shorts, sunblock, and *2* bathing suits -- it's spelled c-a-l-i-f-o-r-n-i-a.

3 types of pass-along cards, copies of the Book of Mormon (spanish and english), mormon pamphlets, and a Temple bag -- you might be inspired to do something with those.

printer, hole punch, and luggage roller -- for the auditor extraordinaire.

and holes -- where there is a hole puncher ...

how'd you do?

i am sure that if the boy scouts were to have a patch for the always prepared trunk, i would win it for sure. (you win patches, right?)

stay tuned, friends, if you're lucky we may soon venture on to the treasure trove known as the glove box.

all good things ...

not only was yesterday april fools day, but additionally and perhaps more importantly, yesterday marks the official end of busy season. yea! i made it through another one!

and for the record, this busy season was definitely the most stressful i have had. yet. ... maybe i shouldn't say that.

some of this year's busy season highlights:

• january: make-up client in glendale. this client was not ready for us when we came as scheduled in december, so we had to push the work forward by about 3 weeks, which of course meant that we were butting right up against the start date for other clients. of course, make-up client didn't care about that and expected us to push the schedule in order to accomodate their needs. at the same time, make-up client to this date has not clearly defined the scope of our work. i am sure i will be back out there sometime this summer. yea.

• february: toy manufacturer in costa mesa. this was my first out-of-town client in my public accounting career, which was fun. of course, the fact that i was staying at a hotel down the street from my client meant that there was an expectation of working early to late. but not a bad set-up otherwise. unless you want to count the fact that both of the staff i was given for this engagement had just been hired in september and this was their first busy-season client. oh, and we had a brand new manager on the job, too. so yeah. and what added to the "appeal" of this job was that it was actually work performed on an international subsidiary of a client of our hong kong office, which meant that we were answering to hong kong. kinda made communication difficult with the 15-hour time difference. but we did it.

• march: make-up client in glendale for a week with still no answer to many of the open issues. but because of funding issues on their end, we pulled out of the field to await a resolution.

  mexican food distributor in cypress for a week. cypress is not near my house, but not far enough to warrant a hotel stay, so take the minimum 11-hour days and tack on 2 hours of traffic in the morning and 2 more at night. the engagement team on this one, though, was fun and made the difference.

  the mexican food week was also the week that i threw out my back somehow. i don't know what happened but i woke up with a bit of a sore back on friday of the week before, which i tried to manage with what was available in the medicine cabinet at the office. the next couple days i tried to just cowboy-up and deal with the pain by walking slowly, sitting straight, and throwing back an ibuprofen or two throughout the day. however, tuesday i was in agony. laying down hurt. standing up hurt. driving hurt (yes, i mean actual pain from moving my right foot from the gas pedal to the brake, which happens frequently when driving through l.a., as you can imagine). walking hurt. sitting hurt. pulling myself up from my chair using my arms hurt but was the only way to do it. i got home that night and managed to sleep somehow, though not well. wednesday morning i called my physical therapist friend and begged for some advice. he offered to see me at his office, but that would mean an early early thursday morning. i was okay with that. so thursday he stretched me and pulled me and beat me up pretty bad. but, oh my goodness, it was fabulous. he gave me some exercises to do (which i have been doing) and i was much better.

  for added kicks, i decided that that thursday would be a good day to get sick. so i did that. and i have been arguing with my cold and personally financing the manufacturers of advil cold & sinus since then. i finally got some antibiotics last saturday. i am starting to feel better now.

  slime manufacturer in grover beach. my second out-of-town job. i'm getting the hang of this by now and i've pretty much got my packing strategy and weekly laundry routine figured out. this job is pretty good. though the client is brand new to me, i am working with some people i know and can trust, which is great. one perk is that we get to wear jeans every single day. i *love* it. plus we are a stone's throw from the beach. and one of these days i am going to go to the beach. especially now that busy season is officially over and we can work less than 55 hours a week without repercussion. yea!

wow. march has been eventful. thank goodness it's over. thank goodness busy season is over!